


Learning Process

by hendercasius



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, M/M, Slice of Life, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, lumark, markhei
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2019-10-29 10:30:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hendercasius/pseuds/hendercasius
Summary: When Jungwoo and Haechan got married to the man of their dreams, Yukhei and Mark are learning how to heal from the suffering of their biggest heartbreak.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, there. This is a sequel to my "Bottled Up" fic, and I am unsure if I'll make it chaptered stories. Tell me what you think?  
> Anyway, you could read the "Bottled Up" first if you want to probably understand better the relationship of the characters in this story.  
> Enjoy!

Two years after Jungwoo and Taeil’s wedding, Yukhei goes back to South Korea.

There is nothing much changed in his mother’s country since he left six years ago. The traffic is still pretty awful, Han river is the most beautiful when the border between sky and earth is almost scrubbed out, Garosugil stays lively as ever with dusts and passerbies, then his heart. Yukhei’s heart hasn’t seemed to _change_ either.

 _I love you Jungwoo, and I let you go_.

The words have always been very close, not only in his mouth, or his ears, but also pierced to his heart. There is a space in his heart clenching tight to Jungwoo’s existence, craving for Jungwoo’s presence, and hopelessly waiting for a reprisal. _I let you go_. Those four words sound more selfish now than it should have originally meant.

“Everything really doesn’t change.” Yukhei throws an astonishment for nth time today as he scans the view outside the car window. The kids playing water fountains at the Gwanghwamun square caught his attention for awhile. It slightly reminds him of the day when Yukhei and Jungwoo got wet during their volunteering activities for the orphans around the area. The images of memories in Seoul struck him as if everything just happened yesterday, when eventually it’s been way in the past. Almost a decade ago.

“What do you expect?” Mark shortly responds, concentrating on driving.

“I don’t think coming back is a good idea.” Yukhei said.

“Why?”

“It feels like driving a time machine. The past events keep coming back at me and I am not sure if I even like it.”

Mark sneers. “Then I must be living in a _fucking_ fridge, because I cannot escape from this eternal sorrow despite how much time flies. _Shit_. I sounded disgusting.”

Mark talked about Haechan, his first love and his almost-but-never a boyfriend. Haechan has got married a year ago, apparently to the person whom he danced to at Jungwoo’s wedding. Yukhei didn’t make it to the wedding since he had a business trip in Finland back then. He remembered staying up all night, _thanks to the time zone_ , listening to Mark cried, cursed, got mad at him for not existing and being there for him. Yukhei knew that Mark didn’t _specifically_ get mad at him. He’d gone mad at himself, needed a punching bag, Yukhei was his last escort, and he let him be.

“What about _the truth is liberating_?” Yukhei recited his own speech.

Mark rolled his eyes. “My truth is _his_ truth, Yukhei. You knew he knew everything. _Liberating, my ass._ ”

Yukhei laughs. Of course, the intention of his words were to piss his bestfriend off.

“I feel like his purpose of living is to make me suffer. To mock me in the face of what I could never have in life. To implicitly say a big _fuck you_ in my face every single time he smiles at me.” Mark paused. “…beautifully.”

Yukhei heaves a breathe.

“Very beautiful.”

The conversation stalls. They are drawn to revive the remembrance of the people who dearly hold their hearts. Kim Jungwoo. Lee Haechan. At this point, both Mark and Yukhei started to believe that love would probably never work out with the _pure_ Koreans. They don’t really talk much afterwards and let the utimate sad playlist from Yukhei’s Spotify to once again fill the space.

_All the miles, black coffee in the back of the van in our barefeet  
We were children, that time could, never tire, though it tried_

_I know now honey that we cannot pretend  
It's foolish thing but we do it over and over again_

 

“Taeil and Jungwoo offered me to live together with them at their house.”

“Wow. Jungwoo is definitely the cruelest human being on earth.”

“I know right.”

 

 _I can't I can't I can't help myself_  
When it comes to this, I can't help myself  
I can't I can't I can't help myself  
When it comes to this, I can't help myself*)

 

 

“Does Taeil know?”

Yukhei raised an eye brow.

“Your feeling to Jungwoo?”

“Man..” Yukhei sighed. “He never knew. He doesn’t need to know.”

Suddenly Mark makes a U-turn in the roundabout that will take them to Jungwoo and Taeil’s apartment building. Yukhei was taken by surprise with the sudden move that wasn’t smooth enough because Mark was coming unprepared.

“Then you live with me.”

“Okay… what is this about?“

“You shouldn’t live with them. It’s just not _right_.”

“Mark, chill. I will just stay there for one week the longest while looking for another apart—“

“I know. Then stay at my place. My condo has three bedrooms, two of them are vacant, you could choose what you want.”

“That’s not the problem. The problem is.. I mean.. Taeil is my cousin and he asked me to stay—“

Mark pulls the car over the roadside and pushed the brake. In no time, the engine was stopped.

“You are _very_ dumb, aren’t you?”

Yukhei rolled his eyes. _Here we go again. Cursing 101 by Mark Lee_. He thought.

“There is no _fucking_ way I am going to let you enter that place when Taeil doesn’t even know the truth. You were there _alone_. The clueless Taeil won’t ever take care of you the way you need. _This_ is not what he wants. I _know_ Moon Taeil. He is the nicest person out there and he doesn’t want you to get hurt. For _fuck_ ’s sake Yukhei, stop being moron. This is not okay.”

Yukhei leans his head on the backrest. He stares straight at the road, the sun preparing for a rest, the cars passing by, and anything but Mark.

“What do I do, Mark? As you said, Taeil is the probably the _best_ man out there. I know him all my life. _Dammit_. He probably was the one who taught me to walk when I was 2. So, tell me. Should I be selfish _again_ , reject my cousin’s request, and let him down, merely because of my _fucking_ stupid feeling to his husband?”

Because as much as he loves Jungwoo, Yukhei has always loved Taeil _too_.

“You are anything _but_ selfish, Yukhei. You are just…” Mark thought about a word. “I have said dumb and moron, you are just _whatever_ , those words don’t even deserve you because you are even worse than that.”

Mark buckled his seatbelt once again. He started the engine and got ready to make a U-turn from the place they stranded.

“I will drive you there. We’ll chat with them, grab a drink, catch up, I’ll be there the entire time, then when it comes to bedtime, we’ll go to my place. You stay. At. My. Place. You’ll say sorry for turning down his offer, but you will make an excuse like you will have a meeting around Mark’s place in the morning or whatsoever. You could stay at my place and take your time as long as you want while hunting for the other living place that you want. I don’t accept any _no_.”

The car was running on the highway again, this time when they passed the roundabout, Mark doesn’t make a U turn.

“Okay?”

“Only if you stop cursing at me.”

“Can’t promise that, _dude_.”

 

 

Truth is, Yukhei never left Mark’s place since then. Even after living there for almost 2 months now. Mark never mentions anything about when Yukhei will move out of his place nor Yukhei had any intention to browse new places either. They both are too busy with their own work. As a Marketing Manager in the biggest entertainment company in South Korea, Mark juggles in strategizing to promote between one artist to another. While Yukhei, the senior business analyst, would have a breakfast in Seoul, lunch in Tokyo, then dinner at mayhaps another country due to tons of clients meeting.

“Your business is not doing well.” Yukhei said one night. His tie is hanging loose, hand’s holding a beer can, and he plops on the edge of Mark’s bed.

Mark is busy skimming through the stock report on the table. His glasses started to hang lower and lower due to drowsiness.

“Elaborate.”

“I had a meeting with SM today. NCT-scheme is not going to work well in the market.”

“Well, it doesn’t take a business analyst to say. Even the fans know it.”

“Truth is.. it was _actually_ a good business strategy, but wrong execution.”

“Truth is I have told the upper management people about what went wrong and what to put up as barrier while it hadn’t strayed so bad. Yet no one listened.”

“Then you should change a careerpath. Be a business analyst.”

Mark turned his chair around to face Yukhei. “Excuse me? And live a boring life with bunch of middle-aged men? The next thing I know, I would be telling dad jokes like you.”

Yukhei laughs. He got the point. “You are bitter.”

“I am always bitter, Yukhei. Don’t expect some Jungwoo in me.” Mark has turned his back again to face the computer.

“No. I mean, this time is just another degree of bitter. Like something pissed you off, man.” Yukhei drinks the rest of the beer in one shot and makes a shoot to Mark’s dustbin with his beer can.

“Stop reading my mind.”

_Three points._

“Means that I am right.”

Mark sighs. There is _really_ no point of hiding things from Yukhei. They have known each other since high school and sometimes it seems to Mark that Yukhei knows him better than himself, and vice versa. Sometimes Yukhei knows what’s best for Mark, and the other way around. It’s still amusing to Mark how each of them knows less about themselves and more about the others.

“Yeah. Yeah. You are right.”

“What happened? Spill the tea!”

“Weren’t you invited to Taeil and Jungwoo’s anniversary celebration?”

“Yeah. What about it?”

“Aren’t you bitter about it?”

Yukhei glared at Mark with a ‘ _Seriously?’_ face all over his expression. It never ceases to amuse him how Mark has always good at flipping the subject of conversation. It was Mark’s problem, yet now it _is_ Yukhei’s problem.

Mark rolls his eyes. “Just answer it.”

“I am not. Just.. normal. They are married, so?”

“Normal? As in you are over it?”

“How is it related to you being bitter _again_?” Yukhei’s last effort to return the subject of conversation.

“Because Haechan and his _fucking_ husband are going to be there, dumbass. And you probably would hop on to another plane or strand in another country with your business, but I have always been here in this _damn_ city. I have _no_ choice but to attend. Because in fact, instead of living in denial like you are, I am _not_ over it.”

Mark is not over it. It is not even a secret. People who just knew Mark and saw the way he looked at Haechan would even be able to tell about it. Mark might be living the life of the hedonist, partying with the people in the music industries, being surrounded by pretty celebrities, maybe having tons of sex with random people too, but when it comes to the heart, he is a loyal. The heart belongs to Lee Haechan and Lee Haechan only.

“Do you know this old song by Jason Mraz?”

“I won’t give up?” Mark looks like he is ready to burst in anger if Yukhei is going to bring the Sunday preaching at his fragile state of mind right now.

“ _I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend…_ ” Yukhei recited a bit of the chorus part, and it successfully left Mark in disgust.

“Fuck it.”

“So not relatable, right? I mean, how is it you are lucky you are in love with your best friend? Especially if the love is not reprocicated. When they get married, you will be expected to be the happiest, and when they have events like this, you will be expected to come. Seriously, Jason Mraz?”

“Should we file a lawsuit?”

“Absolutely.”

For the first time in the course of their evening, Mark finally laughs.

“I will empty my schedule. Let’s attend this together.”

“And cry together?” Mark sneers.

Yukhei nods. “Yeah. Cry together. Then, get wasted. Maybe smoke the weed you hide under this bed a little after it.” Yukhei raised an eye brow. He knows. Mark is quite surprised that _he knows_. “Of course, I know. How long have we known each other again?”

Yukhei was the person he smoked pot with during college. How could Mark always assume that the man is _even_ innocent?

“Fifteen years.”

“Fifteen years, it is.”

 

It was still vivid to Yukhei how Mark looked like when he was walking to his class back then at high school. Mark had the annoying face of some spoiled kid that lived his whole life in the first world country and seemed to move to South Korea halfheartedly. Yukhei made his first move to befriend Mark on their very first day, because he admired how Mark built walls around himself and ignored what people said about him.

 _“We don’t have to fit in anywhere, Yukhei. And always remember that no one can tell us how we should live. No one.”_ Mark said one day at their high school days when Yukhei was forced to come out of closet. Mark was the one who shield him and glared the people who threw the _judging_ glances to Yukhei.

Yukhei has always been thankful for Mark’s existence. He could never imagine what life could have been without Mark Lee in it.

 

“I can’t believe we are going to be thirty this year.” Mark said. He got up from the chair and joins Yukhei to lay on his bed. Both of them face the ceiling, drawn in their own thoughts and hunch.

“Yeah. No wonder people around us got married.”

“People around us, but us.” this highlight made them feel special, at least that’s what Mark thinks.

“ _But_ us.” Yukhei said. Turns out being an exception makes him feels special too.

“I might consider asking you marry me when we turn forty and still not able to gather our shits.”

“Sounds doable.”

“At least I know there will be a person who holds my hand on my deathbed, or at least call the police when I were found dead. I want to be cremated before I got rotten.” Mark said, and he even imagined it a bit. His stomach feels like throwing out something when the image of him rotten came to mind.

“Wow, you are right. Living alone could get you rotten.”

“It’s scary, right?”

“Research said people who live alone die faster.”

Little did he know, Yukhei just provided him a horror instead of an information.”

“You’re kidding me.” Mark hissed.

“That’s the research jokes on you.”

“What the hell. Should I be prepared now and get somebody under my sleeves?”

“But we are going to get married?”

“Yeah. _When we turn forty_. What if the disease of being alone kills me before forty?”

“Then let’s get married tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.” Yukhei repeated Mark’s words, in another tone, with a clearly other meaning. An affirmation. “I have time tomorrow. No client meeting, no business trip. Perfect day to get married.”

Mark gets his upper body up a little bit and faces Yukhei on his side. “When I said that you are a _dumbass_ , Yukhei, I don’t mean that you have to live it up.”

Mark and his sarcasm when he freaks out is the best. Yukhei knew himself. He wasn’t serious with his words, he just craved this side of Mark to feed both of them a good laugh.

“Got it. Forty it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue this story?
> 
> *)Tow'rs - I can't help myself


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I finally continue this story since there are many who said to enjoy this. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much for your support! :)  
> I will update this story weekly and try my best to be consistent with it.  
> Please write your comment and tell me what you think about the story. Because the best gift a writer could earn is a feedback from the readers!! Your feedbacks really inspire me to keep going with the story!  
> Enjoy!

Yukhei and Mark really got married.

No celebration. No party. No ceremony. No suits. No wedding chapel. No rings. No vows. No _love_. It was an impulsive act made without any hesitation and in a click of a thought.

 

“At this point, I don’t think I am capable to fall in love ever _again_.” Mark decided.

It was exactly a week before their _wedding_ , right after they made it alive from Taeil and Jungwoo’s anniversary celebration party. As expected, Mark constantly stared at Haechan over the bottle after bottles of beer he dunked in; while Yukhei had it worse for acting _happy_ and being squeezed inbetween Taeil and Jungwoo for almost the whole time. Early on after they both hit home, Yukhei pulled out the secret box that’d been hidden under Mark’s bed and hovered the couch with a pile of wrapped weeds. Mark was the first one to quickly slip one of them between his lips, and without any command, Yukhei helped him to lighten the spark on the other end.

Soon, they both were sent away to ecstasy.

“I sound so _fucking_ stupid and he is the only one who could make me sound like this.”

_You always sound stupid._

“How could somebody _so_ beautiful like him create such unimaginable chaotic disturbance to else’s life?”

_Truth._

“…and hell, Jeno kept saying this kind of “It will heal as time flies, Mark! Let time flies!”. True. Time _fucking_ flies. But he keeps breaking its wings.”1

_It’s Tablo’s song, Mark. What the hell._

“How could tons of people out there move on from their past love _so easily_? I want to worship them so bad so they could teach me how….”

 _Alright. Preach_.

Mark usually talks a lot in normal basis but when he got stoned, it will get _worse_. He will talk ten times more than he usually is even when there was no one around him. In opposite, Yukhei will do the chore of securing the silence and be a complete listener instead. He was too drawn in exhaling the smoke out of his system and let himself locked in the haze. He has always loved the feeling of being flown to the sky. It helps him relaxed. Calm. Solemn. Tranquil. And all the other feelings that he could only feel when he used to be with Jungwoo. Just the two of them. How Yukhei missed those old days in the college.

“Dude, let’s just get married.”

Yukhei just nodded, slipping away another smoke from his mouth.

In return, Mark stared at him with an unusual glance. “I’m _fucking_ serious.”

Yukhei slightly choked from his own smoke and coughed a little. “Last time I checked, we haven’t turned forty.”

“So what? What’s the point? Are you sure that you could fall for man other than Jungwoo? What are you going to do while you are waiting until 40? Let yourself being torn _again_? _Hell_ , when you are the author of your own fate, you don’t want to write a tragedy.”2

It was quite an irony how Mark is pretty sober when he is high. Yukhei could mentally heard himself saying _amen_ to every word Mark just spelled. Mark Lee was right. Or _perhaps_ Yukhei was just too _high_ to find a flaw in his words at that moment. However, something just clicked in his mind when Mark uttered those words: an _immunity_. Both of them knew best how _sucks_ it was to have their hearts broken and never had a way out to amend. Instead of a solution, Mark offered a prevention.

Yukhei agreed. He could not, and hell knows probably _never_ , move on from Jungwoo. Even if later he found someone new, he was too scared of starting anything because this kind of feeling will make him suffer and eat him up again.

So what’s the point of _love_ again if it only retracted pain instead of joy?

At this point, high or not, Mark was _totally_ right.

“So what do I do? Book the wedding organizer now?”

“I don’t do confetti and flowers.” Mark snickered.

“So we are going to just get married by law and _that’s it_? Oh man, you know I deserve better.”

Mark intentionally blowed his smoke to Yukhei’s direction. “You know I hate _cheese,_ Yukhei. Get that point?”

“But you will do anything for Haechan.”

“But you are not Haechan.”

“Yes. Even better. Because if I were Haechan, I would never agree to marry you.”

“Fuck you.”

Both Mark and Yukhei laughed in unison. The tragedy and irony of their biggest heartbreaks have always been their favorite thing to joke about. Because most of times, things just felt a whole lot better when they treated their feelings as a mere comedy. Just like how Haechan and Jungwoo have always treated their feelings: _Comedy_.

“Alright. You just like to see me suffer, don’t you?” Mark pulled the drawer under the table in front of the couch and took the post-it inside. “Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy?”

“Why would I?”

“Grey’s Anatomy was Haechan’s favorite show that happened to be mine too. And I wanted to marry him in the way Derek got married to Meredith.”

Yukhei raised an eyebrow. “…with post-it?”

Mark nodded and finally pulled away his cigar and put it on the ashtray. “It was the most bearable wedding I could ever imagine. Here is how it works. I will write our vows and we will sign on it. Then we are going to get the _fucking_ legal marriage license soon after this.”

“Wow. _Very_ romantic.”

Sarcasm. In every single fashion Yukhei spelled “very”.

Mark flicked Yukhei’s forehead. “This is what I’d do for Haechan. You should feel so _fucking_ special right now.”

“Did you just copy Radiohead?”

“Whatever. You are the one who always stole people’s words, not me.” Mark said as he started to jot down the first few words of their vow. “Let’s do this. _To love each other.._ that would be so freaking ridiculous—”

“But I think you really suit that song. _But I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo_ —”

“Goddammit, Yukhei. Can you fucking _please_ be focus and high at the same time?”

“That’s a pro job.” Yukhei exhaled another smoke from his mouth as he massaged his own temple. He has always been _so_ good with words, but this time none came out because for what it’s worth, inspiration came with at least a grain of sincerity.

“ _To be there for each other_?”

Yukhei literally just blurted out some random words.

“Still cheese.”

 _Right_. Mark is a walking contradict. He didn’t like _cheesy_ but he didn’t respond well to _sweet_ things. However if anything, he is salty. Twenty four-seven.

“ _To not mess with each other’s head_?”

Mark seemed to agree and started to write things down.

“… _and remind each other not to be a fucking moron?”_ Mark added.

“ _…and be there for each other even when we are sick of each other?_ ”

Both of them giggled in cringe.

“ _Forever_.”

“We’re married now.” Mark signed on the post-it and Yukhei followed him afterwards.

“Now you may kiss the groom.” Yukhei teased.

Mark pulled the cigar from Yukhei’s lips and slipped it between his now. He inhaled the cigar with a gesture of _sucking_ it deeply as if it was Yukhei’s mouth on his, then in another second, he blowed the smoke out of his nostrils and mouth.

“Vow is sealed.”

Within the next hour, their post-it stranded on the table and had been completely forgotten. Over the hazy space and skunky smell fulfilling the room, they spent the whole night talking about their work, the industries they were tempted to try, and gazillion business ideas they wanted to give shot in the long run, under their names, when they have been _legally_ married. No Jungwoo. No Haechan. There was no room for mentioning those names anymore when they both were higher than Namsan Tower. Everything had always been easier when the decisions they made were just as light as the feather of a bird. Sometimes they joked about how if it was not for their outstanding careers, they would probably never want to get sober. Because there were _lots_ and _lots_ of good _and_ silly things they could talk about when they let the toxic flows in their bloodstream.

“If you smoke weed in space, could you get higher?”

There was a deafening silence before a _loud_ laughter killed it right away.

“ _Fuck_ Mark, maybe it could ascend you to another dimension.”

 

 

A week after the post-it vows, they registered their marriage.

They called their parents. Taeil. Jungwoo. Haechan. Jeno. Jaemin. And everyone else in their circle about the news. The reactions were not far from what they have expected. If anything, it was not worse than they thought it would have been.

 _“Are you fucking crazy?”_ Taeil said.

 _“Congratulations Yukhei. I am happy for you, but is this.. for real?”_ Jungwoo said.

 _“Marriage is a sacred thing, Yukhei. How could it be so easy for you to not invite your parents over?”_ Mrs. Wong said.

 _“It was hard enough for me that you are gay. Now you even fake a marriage?”_ Mr. Lee, a _homophobia_ , said.

 _“Please tell me this is just an April’s fool on January.”_ Jeno and Jaemin said.

_“Your life… you always treat it like a game, don’t you?”_ Haechan said.

Yukhei reads _that_ latest chat from Haechan on Mark’s phone. _Not wittingly._ Mark just happens to sit next to Yukhei and open his phone in a distance where Yukhei could read anything displayed on the screen. He is watching Mark’s reaction. _Stone cold_. He seems to have it enough before swiping it to “Delete chat” and locks his phone.

“Are you good?” Yukhei asked in a manner of _I-don’t-care-about-you-but-just-gotta-ask-you-know?_ , because he knows even his slightest attention could earn Mark’s suspicion.

“Apparently I’m sitting here waiting for my flight for vacation instead of sleeping in the hospital due to car crash, so yeah. I’m _fucking_ doomed?”

 _The_ _bitterness_. Mark is surely never good at hiding things from Yukhei. This time, Yukhei only folds his arms in front of his chest, lays on the backrest and blows a whistle of a song. He chooses to stay out of Mark’s business.

“When will the boarding gate open?”

Yukhei checked his boarding pass. “It should be in 10 minutes.”

“So long. Very long 10 minutes.”

“It’s literally just 3 songs duration combined. Put your headphones on.”

“I’m turning off my phone.”

“Wow. And we’re not flying yet. Did somebody say something about you doing the stupid thing?”

The stupid thing means _their_ marriage. And yes, Yukhei noticed how Mark flinched over the _rethoric_ question.

“Everybody literally _said_ something about it. If I could take my Father’s words just fine, then I could swallow everyone else’s words.”

“How did you take Haechan’s words?”

And yes, Yukhei probably doesn’t really stay _out_ of Mark’s business at all.

Mark rolled his eyes. “How did _you_ take Jungwoo’s words?”

“Me? I was blessed. He congratulated us. Said he was happy. It’s just… _very_ Jungwoo.” Yukhei didn’t lie.

“Yeah, lucky you get to fall for somebody like Jungwoo. At least he would never add more salt to your wound.”

“Was it that bad?”

Mark shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t need to remember it. But what could I do when I even love the bad things about him just as much as the good ones? I can’t even hate him.”

 

Mark’s _fucking_ words. He was, once again, awfully right. They probably had never been able to move on because they were able to love their crushes unconditionally. Even though _unconditionally_ includes the condition where they cannot have them too.

 _Shit_.

That was why Mark gave them an idea to have such “healing retreat” in the middle of nowhere. Siem Reap. Cambodia. As an effort of the program called “Jungwoo and Haechan erasure” from their lives. The rule is pretty simple: Do not mention Jungwoo and Haechan during the entire trip. The loser will do anything in the favour of the winner for a whole year. Truth is, they are actually just escaping from people around them. From their questions, judging look, and everything else they will face in Seoul. It was all a perfect undercover in the name of “Honey Moon”. When Taeil asked why they picked Cambodia, Yukhei only said that he wanted to see the well-known sunrise in Angkor Wat.

“But we’ve seen it there when you were eleven.” Taeil said over the phone call.

“But I haven’t seen it with the love of my life.”

Yukhei swore he never wanted to throw up as much as he did that time.

 

 _Love of his life_.

“ _Shit_ the aircon is too cold. I can’t sleep.” Yukhei said on their flight.

Mark, wearing a padding over the sweater wrapped his body, comfortably leans on his chair and smirks at him. “Just suck it up.”

Sure. Love of his life _indeed_.

 

Once they set foot in Siem Reap, they booked a Tuktuk driver stranding nearby the airport exit instead of ordering cabs. They both agreed that they want to make and feel the most of their experiences in Siem Reap by doing things like locals. It happens to be a wise option, especially when they find a Tuktuk driver with remarkable fluency of English skill that offered to guide them for three days journey in such affordable rate. In addition, their Tuktuk driver even makes an itinerary for them, knowing that Yukhei and Mark was coming empty-handed to Cambodia with no plans at all.

 

“Next time, we really should just book the plane tickets and go with the intuition.” Mark put his sunglasses on once they get to sit on the Tuktuk ride.

“It was really not a bad idea.”

 

It was _really_ not a bad idea at all. Yukhei loves the ride from the airport to the hotel they will be staying in. Siem Reap is just.. simply breathtaking. Yukhei has been in and out of Cambodia due to business trip but he only went to Phnom Penh. He never stood a chance to pay another visit to Siem Reap after his family trip with Taeil about twenty years ago. Even though Phnom Penh is a city of its wonder, Siem Reap is just on another level for Yukhei. Not even Seoul could contend with. The weather is _so_ good, the traffic is just fine, the people are chill, there is a thick identity of Cambodian culture etched in literally every places, and he notices there were a lot of luxurious cars passing by on such a humble road. It amuses him somehow. Soon enough, he has labelled the town as his very own goldilock zone.

Everything was just perfect.

The hotel they are staying complements the perfection even more. It is designed in a model of cottages with a river pool dissecting in between two clusters of cottages. Having the whole cottage for themselves has been quite an exciting thought to imagine and talk about throughout their whole Tuktuk ride to their hotel. Except that they are slightly annoyed by the hotel management since the two rooms cottage they ordered was substituted with a one room cottage instead without prior notice.

There is no matter with sleeping with Mark on the same bed, obviously. It’s just the way of two people graduated from Business major assessing, evaluating, and _judging_ every single thing that went wrong with the kind of business that their hotel runs. Fortunately, Yukhei and Mark are more excited about the Old Market, Pub Street and the King’s palace, which is in the close proximity to the hotel, that they forgot to call out the hotel manager for the minor unpleasant service.

When they are about to explore the town, Yukhei has changed his top to prussian blue shirt complemented with brown bluffworks chino that have draped his legs during the entire flight. While Mark wears a casual plain white shirt with denim chambray shorts. They rented the bikes from the hotel, just in case they want to explore further in the town. The concierge keeps warning them to be careful of the pickpockets and Mark said there is nothing to worry about as long as his husband is with him.

 _His husband_.

Mark refers to Yukhei. He knows that Mark is teasing and playing _all too well_ with the whole roleplay setup, but Yukhei is clearly still not used to it. So when Yukhei returns to the hotel a little earlier than Mark later that day and the concierge asked where his husband went, Yukhei’s first reaction was a confusion instead of a nonchalant answer.

 _His husband_. It is Mark.

“He’s still at the pub. He loves to party.”

“And you don’t?” the concierge is apparently _still_ engaging Yukhei in the conversation.

Yukhei shrugs his shoulders as he parked the bike. “Can’t stand in the crowd too long.”

“I see. The differences. Maybe that’s what makes you belong to each other.”

Yukhei raised an eye brow before he laughs it off.

 _The differences_.

Mark and Yukhei are indeed very different. It’s not a water and fire difference, or heaven and hell difference. To put it in words, it is more like nihilism and existentialism difference. They are opposite, but they can coexist with one another just fine. There might be disputes here and there, but it’s never a big deal. If anything, their differences have helped them to understand the world from other shoes better. Maybe that’s why they could always be the most original version of themselves when they are with each other, and it has always been comfortable because there would be no judgement at all.

 

And maybe that’s why being with Mark is _so_ easy. _Very_ easy.

“What?” Mark rubbed his eyes as he noticed how Yukhei has been creeping on him for about a minute now.

“Nothing.” Yukhei diverts his attention as he throws his stare upfront.

It is 4.30 in the morning, and they have been sitting on the edge of the reflection lake, facing the Angkor Wat temple with hundreds of tourists who sacrificed their sleeping time for the sake of the well-known eminent sunrise.

“I’m so sleepy I want to die.” Mark yawns again for the sixth time since they sat down on the grass after the long climb from the entrance gate.

“Well that happens when you slept at 3 and woke up at 4.” Yukhei’s hands dig deeper into the pocket of his jacket as the chilly air of the dawn touch his skin. Contrast with Mark, Yukhei has been wide awake due to the long walk from entrance gate to the temple area. He tried to pick up the pieces of memories in Angkor Wat twenty years earlier that he could remember as he walked in the darkness towards this place. No matter how hard he tried, he just always fails because the memories are too blurry and perhaps his system is not yet ready to retrieve pieces per pieces from his brain.

“Yukhei..” Mark mumbled. Enough to pull Yukhei back to his reality. “..talk to me.”

“What kind of talk?” Yukhei nailed his eyes to the view upfront. The temples have shown its silhouette over the small rays peeking from the sun rise.

“Anything. I am way too knocked out and I shouldn’t because I have paid for this sunrise.”

“Alright.” Yukhei said. He starts searching for peculiar subjects in his mind.

A pause.

Silence.

“Heck. I’m out of idea. It’s freaking 4.45 in the morning, Mark. My brain is not working.”

“Anything. Just.. quiz me.”

Yukhei heaved a deep breathe. “Do you know the history of this temple?”

“Good.” Mark said, and suddenly absorbed in a deep thinking.

Yukhei looks forward to the long-ass explanation.

“I don’t. What about you?”

“Well..” Yukhei sighs. He sounds convincing. “I don’t know either.”

Both of them laugh in a the lowest volume possible in order not to disturb others’ moments of peace and solemn. Quite long enough until they finally regain some air to talk again.

“What the hell.”

“Told you I have nothing to talk about.”

“Alright…” Mark grabbed a long twig strayed under his knee and made a gesture of writing something on the grass with it. “I got into fight last night in the bar.”

Yukhei frowns and quickly judges Mark’s facial features. No sign of bruises. “Seems like you won?”

“We fought verbally.”

“Like.. catfight?”

“ _Very_ catfight.”

“What was it about?”

“A girl. She flirted with me. We danced a little bit under the disco ball. And the next thing I knew, turned out that she had a very jealous bulldog.”

Yukhei sighs in an effort to cover his unreleased giggle. “ _A_ bulldog?”

Mark nods. “Then he confronted me. Then I said that I was gay and had nothing to do with his girl. Then this bulldog was trying to show me some power. He was about to beat me up, but then there was this… _Siberian husky_ saved me from the fight. Acted all hero. Turned out he was interested and tried to hit on me. Well, if I am not married, I probably have had a memorable one night stand last night.”

Yukhei shook his head and laughs a little upon hearing the brief summary. “You’re so unbelievable. Why did you even party _that_ hard last night? You could save it for tonight, or tomorrow night. We’re still here though.”

“I just… needed to party _so bad_ last night.”

“Why?”

Mark starts to notice the dark blue color of the sky slowly is slowly replaced with the brighter tone. It was beautiful. “Don’t you see a lot of beggars on the street of this town?”

“The correlation?”

“I always resent myself for not being able to help them. To save them. They remind me of the victims of my Father’s business. You know what a motherfucker he is, right? His business has always been dragging and sacrificing so many poor people and I am never proud of what he is doing. I feel like paying the sins I don’t remember whenever I saw them, and then I will always take the image of them with me to sleep. So I have to party. Spend time with the hedonists, the stupid people, because then it will help me to sleep at night.”

“You had some personal experiences with them?”

Mark looks up to the sky, as if he tries hard to remember _something_. “A boy named Fabio was the first person who knew about my sexuality. He helped me to accept who I am and we played together at my backyard every single day when I went back from school. Until one day I went back from school and he was not there. A few weeks later I waited, and he still wasn’t there. Turned out he _fucking_ died due to respiratory problem he suffered because of the _fucking_ massive haze from the massive burning done by my Father’s plantation. There’s also this girl, Blythe, she didn’t have a home because my Father paid the government to haul their whole settlements. And then Kristjan, he couldn’t go to school nor live a normal life anymore because the tractor owned by my Father’s company _accidentally_ crashed him, and still many more.”

It is early in the morning. Yukhei just realized that he rarely talks or sees Mark in the _early_ morning. He starts to wonder if probably Mark is a different person in the early morning, because Yukhei has always known Mark at night. Before they sleep, when they watch soccer, after they finish work, when they are high, when they are drunk, when they are in dinner, or at party. They usually spent their mornings in their own bedroom, or most of times, they didn’t even stay under the same roof during _early_ morning.

Whatever it is, Yukhei just discovered this story from Mark today after fifteen years of friendship. Maybe he could discover more of these if he often meets with the early morning Mark. Well. It is an assumption. Because the night Mark is wild and uncontrollable. While the early morning Mark tells story and seems to curse less than he does in normal basis.

“Yeah. Whatever. So I _fucking_ partied. I need it. That’s it.”

And.. he’s _back_. Maybe Yukhei’s theory was wrong. Maybe he would just tell a story be it at night or dawn.

“Alright. Justified. But next time, stay safe. You could get yourself killed, you know. What if the bulldog had a gun? Things would probably be totally different right now.”

“Well yeah. That would be sucks. But whatever.”

“You really have no fear, don’t you?”

“Nah. My favorite Canadian fellow said that fear comes from not knowing what to expect and not feeling you have any control over what’s about to happen. If you are not sure what to be alarmed about—“

“— _everything is alarming_. Chris Hadfield. Look who stole quotes now?” Yukhei smirks.

Mark smiles. His drowsiness starts to set aside. “You knew.”

“Of course I know. I don’t live under rock?”

“That would make Haechan a _fucking_ Patrick, though.”

Yukhei snaps his fingers at Mark and pressed the urge to scream out loud when he heard that name. “Haechan! You _fucking_ lost. You mentioned him, loser.”

Mark chuckles. “ _Shit_!”

Yukhei throws his fist in the air. The tourists around them start to pay attention before they both keep things down for themselves and talk in lower volume.

“Alright. You could ask me a favor. All you want. A year long.”

“Wow. Sure. I got a very _very_ long list.”

“Remember. You don’t take goods from me. You _ask_ me doing things.” Mark, twenty-nine years old. Apparently is worried if his assets are stolen by his own husband.

“I know. I’m not moron, _shithead_.”

Mark and Yukhei moved a bit and now in a distance where their arms brush to each other when the people around them start to gather and tighten their barricade because the sun almost rises. A tip of the curve has peeked through the border of the sky, and everybody starts to get up from their seat and set up their camera in order to get the best shot. Unlike the most tourists, Mark and Yukhei chose to stay in the place and enjoy the view. Both of them are not a big fan of photography and they never like being captured either. They agree that the best thing to save and freeze in the moment is by totally savouring it. Photos would never do justice of how great the view is in reality.

“You know.. this kind of people is the reason why attending concert nowadays _sucks_.” Mark said as he hissed in discomfort when somebody was about to step on his foot.

Yukhei, having his whole attention to the crowd, now turns to Mark as he heard the latter said something to him. And he is startled when he realized that they are in such close proximity. In this distance, Yukhei noticed the details of Mark Lee that he never cared about. Mark had small freckless on the tip of his nose, a tiny birth mark on his jaw, and few pimples on his right cheek. All those little things made up into the Mark Lee that is very, _very_ annoying and out of the world, and confusingly…

 

 

… _beautiful_.

 

“This is probably an impulsive request for my first wish..” Yukhei finally finds his words. “..but can we kiss?”

Mark is flabbergasted. He is startled. He checks on Yukhei's expression to see if there is anything wrong with _his_ head right now, but it seems that Yukhei is  _totally_ , perfectly fine. He suddenly calculates a lot of things in his head, and it takes almost forever to finally hear him say something in response.

“W- _what?_ I mean, sure I could, we’d do it before over the _Truth and Dare_ , so? You want to repeat it?”

“That time we were drunk. Now kiss me while you’re sober.”

“S-sure, but.. Suddenly?” Mark stuttered. “Now?” Mark made a gesture with his hands to show Yukhei that they are in the midst of crowd. “ _Fucking_ now?

“No. When I killed you.”

Mark rolls his eyes. “Fine. I get your point. _Shit_.” Mark looks around one last time as he prays in his heart that everybody in this place won’t call them _freaks_ for making out in sacred site. He grabs Yukhei by shoulders and slowly closes the gap between them. When Mark finally shuts his eyes and he is only five centimetres away from Yukhei, when everything is so close and there _is_ a wild rhythm heartbeats in between, when it was time to put their mouths together and let their intuitions lead the steps afterwards, Yukhei suddenly stands up in an uproar excitement.

“Aaaand, it’s the sun rise!”

Leaving Mark to lose his balance and kiss the ground instead.

Yukhei looks at Mark from above, two hands are in the pockets of his chino, and he flashes a toothy smile of a satisfaction for seeing his bestfriend, _no_ , his husband, falls for the trap.

“When I said you are a _shithead_ , Mark, I don’t mean that you have to live it up.”

“ _Fuck you,_ Yukhei.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 - Tablo's Eyes Nose Lips  
> 2 - Chris Hadfield's


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short update! Enjoy~

Yukhei might have said this before, but he _will_ say this again:

It is really easy being with Mark.

Yukhei never thought that marrying Mark would be more of a bliss instead of nuisance. He thought they would waste their whole life taking care of their own _mayhem_ together. Turned out, Mark and Yukhei made a perfect team. Even exceeding his expectation, Mark took care a lot of things for him that Yukhei never realised before.

For example during the first month of their marriage, in one of their nights in Cambodia, Yukhei was sitting on bed with his legs sprawled and a book of “ _Sapiens_ ” by Harari on his hands. Mark was still outside with few of new friends he just made in town. Just when Yukhei thought Mark would be arriving home at dawn like he did on the other day, he heard the sound of a _ding_ from the door access and Mark made a sudden appearance with shopping bag hung on each of his hand.

“I thought it’s still 8?” Yukhei asked, attention was locked on the book.

“It is.” Mark’s short response as he proceeded to the kitchen.

The conversation stalled as Yukhei got absorbed into his book. For few minutes, Mark made quite noise in the kitchen and Yukhei didn’t seem to be curious about it. It was just a normal day-to-day life of theirs. There were times they talked and did activities together, but there were the other times too when they left each other alone.

“Here.” Mark apparently had done his business in the kitchen and brought out a cup of tea for Yukhei. He placed it on the drawer next to Yukhei and went back to the kitchen for bringing a box full of square-cut papaya for himself. Soon, Mark plopped himself on the other side of the bed and turned on the television while enjoying the fruits.

Yukhei, still had his eyes nailed on the book, was a bit distracted by the smell of the tea lingered on his nostrils and finally was tempted to take a sip. He carefully put the bookmark on the page he was on and took a cup of the warm tea carefully, avoiding any drop to spoil on the bed cover.

 _Earl grey_.

Yukhei frowned. His tongue knew it by heart that it was the similar brand of his favorite Earl grey and he _clearly_ remembered that he didn’t bringing it with him to Cambodia.

“You made me an earl grey.”

“I made you an earl grey.” Mark repeated, facial expression remained unbothered by the statement as if it was a _normal_ thing to do. He forked one of the papaya cut and shoved it to his mouth. The confusion written on Yukhei’s face was invisible to him as he got too captivated with the show he was watching.

“This is _Ahmad_ tea.”

“Yes, I bought it in the convinience store.”

“Why?”

Mark raised an eye brow, finally Yukhei won some attention. “Isn’t that your favorite?”

That was a correct statement, but what Yukhei actually asked was _why_ he bought the tea and even made him a cup of it _for him_.

“You made me an earl grey.”

“I made you the _fucking_ earl grey.”

“Did you just commit a _fucking_ perjury?”

Mark flinched. “What?”

“Did you just murder somebody and get away with it?”

“ _Wait_ , what the hec—“

“What bad situation are we in, Mark Lee?” Yukhei raised the cup of his earl grey with a gesture, and it took about ten seconds for Mark to finally understand what the taller meant.

“ _For fuck’s sake_? I often make one for you in Seoul!”

“ _When_?”

“Do you think the earl grey you sipped every single time you go back from overseas trip were served by their own?”

 

 _Snapped_. Mark made him a _fucking_ earl grey. Correction, he _always_ makes one for Yukhei when he has time. Now that he thought about it again and tracked his memories, there were times when Yukhei didn’t realize the cup of earl grey served on his work desk because he was often absorbed to his work.

It was Mark’s doing. Yukhei just figured.

 

“Thanks _man_?” Yukhei was confused rather than amused. His book has now been forgotten somewhere because of the conversation and his attention now shifted to the show Mark was watching. It looked familiar to Yukhei _because_ they were characters from _NCIS_ , seemed like one of _NCIS_ episodes, but something was _off_. Yukhei frowned when he found it was a mute.

“..and why _the fuck_ are you watching television without any sound _again_ , freak?”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Because you are reading and you like tranquility when you’re _fucking_ a book, _dumbass_ ”

 _Snapped two._ Mark knows what to do when Yukhei is reading a book.

Yukhei is an oversensitive person when it comes to reading _anything_. Be it books, newspapers, data, he will completely shuts himself from the outside world and being sucked deep into it as if _it_ is the blackhole of his supermassive universe. Not many people were aware of it, but Mark _was._ This time, Yukhei only uttered his amusement into words and when he asked what made Mark figured everything about him, his response was a cliché that should have crossed his mind.

“Fifteen years. Fifteen _damn_ years. How would I not know such trivial stuffs?”

 

 

Or the other example, during the third or forth month of their marriage, when they were invited to Jaemin and Jeno’s place, and Jaemin was trying to show off his _top-notch_ barista skill and offer to craft a cup of Hazelnut latte for Yukhei. Mark quickly interrupted even before Yukhei said a single word.

“Yukhei didn’t drink coffee. You basically killed him if you make him drink one.”

 _Snapped three_. Mark knows that coffee could send Yukhei to an endless pit of fever complemented with gastric acid.

When _did_ Mark notice about it again? Yukhei was left speechless as Mark did all the talks of how Yukhei’s body would react to caffeine. He was fluent on it as if he was the owner of _it_. Soon, when it came for Mark to raise an eye brow and asked Yukhei for a confirmation with a single “Right, Yukhei?”; Yukhei only nodded and wisecracked about it. The next thing happened was Jeno got to _fanboy_ over how an attentive husband Mark had been and that he never thought Mark would ever be capable to pull of good job as a husband.

Yeah, even Yukhei himself was surprised by it.

 

And Yukhei’s _all-time_ favorite example was probably during the day when he suffered from the bad flu and he had to bedrest at home. His temperature was rising high, his nose was stuffed with snots, and his throat felt flamingly burnt. Yukhei curled up under blanket, legs were folded close into his chest, and his body trembled _so bad_. Even after Mark went in and turned on the heater. He served a cup of warm water, some pills, and cough syrup on the drawer next to bed and sit on the edge of Yukhei’s bed.

“Where are you going?” Yukhei’s first reaction when he saw Mark looked expensive in his navy blue suit and one of his rare Rolex collection strapped on his wrist. He smelled like a hundred thousand bucks too with the fragrant from Incense Oud Eau by Kilian. Within a glance, Yukhei could judge that it was impossibly a job matter.

There was a hesitation in Mark’s eyes. He touched the edge of Yukhei’s blanket and let his index finger traces along its stitches. “Haechan invited me over for dinner.”

“With Renjun?” Yukhei saw a system glitch in Mark upon mentioning Haechan’s husband. He should’ve looked upset, but instead he was terrified.

“No.”

 _Exactly_.

“T-t-then it’s a date.” Yukhei concluded. His teeth were crackling due to the cold.

“Not really.” Mark slipped a small laugh in between his words as he watched Yukhei struggling to fight the cold. He fidgeted the blanket he had been playing with his fingers and knead it into such mass. “..afterall me and Haechan remained friends. Just like you and Jungwoo. We just hung out, you know. Grab a drink.”

“For somebody who wants to _just_ grab a drink, you look pretty decent though.” Yukhei teased, to which Mark raked his own hair in a slight frustration. Mark _knew_ what he talked about.

“I know, I know. Now that you point it out, I feel like an idiot even _more_.”

“Well I guess that’s the cost of falling in love.” _Being an idiot._ Yukhei had been fluent on it himself.

When there was slight wind blew out of nowhere and crushed Yukhei’s skin, he quickly pulled the edge of blanket that Mark was playing with to cover his body until his nose. Mark teased him a bit with pulling the blanket down and not letting Yukhei had it. Yet with a single glare from Yukhei, Mark let it go with a laugh.

“Good luck with it. Even though I really disapprove your intention to snatch someone else’s husband.”

Mark rolled his eyes.

“Still, _good luck_. Really hope things go well.” Yukhei patted Mark on the back and rolled himself to the other side, totally back facing Mark for now. He pulled the blanket again until it covered his chin and folded his body like a fetus. Yukhei barely stayed still due to the trembling, and when he thought that Mark has left his room and gone for good, Yukhei felt a sudden warmth embraced him, and a weight of someone else’s on his body.

Yukhei rolled his eyes.

It’s Mark. _Of course_.

Before he could even turn his back to confront Mark, the latter hold him in an even tighter grip and insisted Yukhei to stay at his place. Yukhei was following Mark’s gesture in a complete annoyance.

“Is it warmer now?” Mark asked. His hand made its way to pat Yukhei’s arms and he placed his head on Yukhei’s shoulder.

Yukhei _really_ wanted to curse at Mark and push him off of the bed. However, as he witnessed how his body stopped trembling in Mark’s grip, he decided to let it pass.

“Hate to say it, but _maybe_?”

Soon, Mark tightens the hug upon listening to Yukhei’s response. Because Mark knew that Yukhei’s _maybe_ could actually mean _yes_ when there was no action taken in the wake of the “ _maybe_ ”. He actually felt a _bit_ uncomfortable wearing pair of Brioni suits to sleep now, but it was not something he wanted to complain about especially when he saw Yukhei needed an immediate rescue.

“I really want to punch you in the face.” Yukhei actually felt a bit awkward with the position, but he couldn’t say more since he _needed_ this. And it felt worse, and _he hated it_ because he knew that Mark Lee knew about it. Mark Lee knew how much he needed it. In the meantime, Yukhei could only silently thank Mark for not bringing it out verbally and used it for teasing him.

“Later, when you are healthy.”

“Sure.”

There was a pause inbetween as Yukhei tries to engulf the warmth and collect the sanity left off of him. _Awkward._ Long awkward silence. Another awkward silence. Five minutes. Ten minutes. As the time passed by, the awkward minutes were substituted with a feeling of serenity. Not that Yukhei wanted to admit that it was _probably_ what he longed for, but maybe it was _really_ what he longed for. He had been a _bit_ drifted away from the consciousness and ready to doze off when suddenly something clicked his mind. His lips felt heavy as he said it. His mind has gone elsewhere, probably in the dreamland.

“You had a plan with Haechan.” Yukhei murmured.

Mark shrugged his shoulders. “It’s off now.”

“Why?”

“No reason.”

“I am fine, Mark Lee.”

“Don’t act like you are _the reason_.”

Yukhei laughed a bit. He sounded raspy and high in the state where his head has gone off wandering to the subconsciousness. “Of _course_. I’m never anyone’s reason.”

That was a joke, but it sent Mark to a complete silence. Part of him wanted to revise his remarks. The other part of him arranged the words to make up Yukhei’s thought. Yet the rest part of him didn’t like the idea of being cringeworthy.

“Just sleep and recover.” was all he could say. His legs were on top of Yukhei’s legs and his fingers made its way to Yukhei’s. He intertwined their fingers together, adding more warmth to Yukhei’s system. Yukhei unconsciously leaned closer to Mark and completely made Mark’s shoulder as his pillow now.

“Mark.” Yukhei murmured. Judging solely from the voice, Mark couldn’t assure whether Yukhei has been in slumber and this is a sleep talking or the real one.

“Hm?”

“I don’t like Incense Oud. Or Kilian at all. Can’t really stand it if my nose is perfectly working right now.”

Mark smiled, to which Yukhei didn’t notice. “Then?”

“Clive Christian? Don’t know. Don’t care.”

 

 

Maybe that’s why there is a huge interrogative mark all over his face when both of them attending another anniversary party of Jungwoo and Taeil. When Jungwoo takes place to sit next to Yukhei and Taeil in a roundtable, Mark approaches them with a drink in his hand for Yukhei. His head slightly goes lower to put the drink in front of Yukhei when he accidentally caught a familiar fragrant.

“You smell like Incense Oud.” Mark said to Jungwoo.

“Yeah. Just tried it since Taeil bought it for me.”

Mark nods. “It’s a lovely pick, _by the way_. Best of Kilian’s. But Yukhei cannot stand that perfume. So I am taking him out of the table, if you excuse me.”

Mark extends his hand and smiles using his eye brows as a sign for Yukhei to go along with it. Yukhei frowns, still cannot comprehend of the all-too-sudden situation, but then taking Mark’s hand and waving a quick goodbye to Taeil and Jungwoo before they walk off of the table together. They head to the bar across the room where Yukhei finally could have a shot of Château to celebrate his successful escape from witnessing Taeil and Jungwoo’s intimacy.

“How do you know?” Yukhei asked. “..the fragrant thing?”

Mark rolls his eyes and takes a shot of Marsala next to Yukhei’s bottle. “Fifteen years, Yukhei. Fifteen years for _fuck’s_ sake.”

“Right. Fucking fifteen years.” Yukhei said as they clank their glass together.

 

He might want to say it again this time. Clearly. Being with Mark is _indeed_ very easy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real life works really overwhelm me and I cannot update as quick as I usually did. Sheez. Enjoy the update, anywayyy~

For Mark Lee, life is divided into _before_ Yukhei and _after_ Yukhei.

There were quite a lot of misunderstanding during the life before Yukhei. Too often, Mark was stood in a room with all the criticisms by himself for his misbehaviour, _or_ his words that sound too harsh, _or_ the way he stared at people that give the wrong impression all the time. Before Yukhei, nobody bothered to at least _trying_ to understand the reasons behind his action. And it didn’t matter at all to Mark actually. Because afterall, who wanted to _understand_ the person who cursed at them? And, who wanted to _understand_ the person whose words are existing only to hurt them? And who the hell wanted to _understand_ the person who would return their sincere smile with a bitter look?

Surprisingly, Yukhei _did_.  And he still _does_.

Perhaps that’s why life _after_ Yukhei feels a _bit_ different _._ Mark hasn’t decided either it is a _good_ different or a _bad_ different because there were diverse encounters that didn’t always look pretty because of Yukhei. However, one thing for sure is that his life is getting a bit more crowded after Yukhei. Strangely, Mark was surrounded with more people when he didn’t even do anything to change his behaviours nor improve his choice of words. All he did was staying the same and truthfully, Yukhei did the rest of the work. Mark didn’t even know how Yukhei did it, but he has always been able to take care of his mess.

 

For example, that one time when he almost cut his friendship with Jeno.

“For _fuck’s_ sake, stop acting like it’s the end of the world.” Mark said when Jeno had his worst heartbreak in college that caused him to skip classes for a week. Jeno was about to burst out and get physical dispute with Mark when Yukhei jumped in between them.

“Jeno, you know Mark. He’s concerned, okay? He’s concerned about your grades.”

Or when Jungwoo failed his auditor exam miserably.

“The exam was not even _damn_ difficult. How could you?”

Even the kindest one in their circle failed to decode the exact meaning behind what Mark said and ended up upset over his words. Fortunately, Yukhei was there to save the day.

“He’s suspecting that something was off about the exam. Well, cheating is uncommon these days.”

 

Those paraphrases, if Mark could say, from Yukhei were never a wrong interpretation. Mark has always been amused of how Yukhei somehow always knew how to translate his language and made it sound decently pretty. In addition, Yukhei is heavily skilled in speaking the words that people wanted to hear too. Thus suddenly, Mark is a good person. Suddenly, Mark’s existence becomes a pleasant additional in the point of view of someone else’s shoes. Suddenly, the criticism became less and there are more love invested in him instead. Suddenly. Out of nowhere. Without any ounce of effort from Mark.

Perhaps that’s one of the reason why the idea of marrying Yukhei sounded bearable to Mark’s logic. Given that Yukhei is the only person who could handle Mark, both at his best and at his worst.

 

One afternoon, after Mark took off from the office and hit the home early, he hurrily took out the so-called _secret box_ underneath his bed and brought it to the balcony. He looked rushed, his face was all red, and his hands trembled. There was a disturbing desire urging him from inside, and when the feeling was about to burst, his hands got even quicker to unlock the box and release all the cigars. Some of them fell to the floor due to his trembling hand, yet he managed to earn one of them in his grip. As he sits himself on the wood deck chair nervously, he slipped one of the cigar in between his fingers and immediately lightened it with the other hand.

First blow and he started to notice the beauty of the city lights view before him. Second blow and he started to get adjusted to the chilly air in the middle of September. Third blow and everything in his system lied to him and replicated his normal state. As if nothing ever happened.

It was just perfect.

 _Perfect_.

The feeling that was about to burst had long gone, replaced with euphoria that mimicked a fake joy because his true feeling has never _really_ gone. It was just hidden, kept, and buried in somewhere deeper than the bottom of his heart. His eyes kept looking at the space after the fence distanced few metres in front of him, that separated him from the view of the city lights. At that time, he wondered how it felt if he walked out of the fence. Will he _fly?_ Or will he _die?_

Will he _die_?

There was a sudden curiosity appearing from that mere question, and it led him to put his obsession towards the cigar he was holding off to the ashtray. He slowly moved forward to the fence instead, finding his new addiction. He looked down on the ground and saw the cars, buses, people were busily moving from his sight from above. Beautiful, _beautiful view._ He wanted to delve into the beauty of the city, became part of it, and perhaps gone for good. Perhaps, it would not really hurt if he tried to jump. Perhaps his inner would grow wings that he never realised to have, and he would fly. _Or_ , if he turned out to die because of the jump, perhaps dying _would not_ hurt so much.

At least not as painful as being alive in this kind of state. _Perhaps_.

The utter naïve thought made him smile as he nonchalantly lifted his left foot to step on the foothold of the fence. He felt the cold wind breezed through his toes and it made him shivered to the spine. He clutched his fingers and tried to hold it in, and for a second, there was a hesitation creeping in. However, it didn’t stop him from making his way to let his right foot to get along as well. When he was about to step over the fence, he felt a sudden force pulled him backward and made him lost his control over his balance. He didn’t fly. He failed his jump. He fell to the ground of the balcony instead. _Hard_.

“What the hell, Mark Lee!!”

Yukhei. Wong Yukhei _always_ kills the joy.

A faint smile crept up on Mark’s face. “What’s good, dude?”

“What the hell are you thinking?!”

“I measured how high this place is?”

Yukhei grabbed Mark’s arm tightly and forced him to go back to his seat.

“What about measuring how _high_ you are first?” Yukhei stood in front of Mark, hands were on waists. Mark studied his figure for a little while and could tell how exhausted Yukhei was. His sleeves were messily folded and the three top buttons of his shirt were undone. Also not forget to mention that his eyebags got worsened and his cheekbones looked sharper. It was the first time for Mark seeing him in the past three weeks and to think of how bad the day, or _days_ , Yukhei has gone through complemented with him finding the skunk smell and a scene Mark caused once he finally arrived home must’ve been a complete displeasure for Yukhei. At that point, Mark felt another slice of guilt and misery hit him.

“Huh?” Mark diverted his attention to the ashtray, to his cigar that have been long forgotten. He picked it up and inhaled it again. “Such a nice pun, man.”

“I am not joking, Mark. What the _fuck_ did you do?”

“I thought you’re still out of town?”

“Answer. My. Question.”

Mark raised an eyebrow. “Smoking weed?”

“Yeah I can see that, thanks to my eyes.” Yukhei sneered. He released a heavy breathe that sounded like a period to his sentence. Just when Mark thought that Yukhei had done interrogating him, he turned out to just fire the engine.

“We had a promise, Mark.”

“I have cleaned up the kitchen.”

Yukhei rolled his eyes. _The house chores_ _promise_. Clearly not the thing that Yukhei talked about.

“We only smoke when _something_ happened.”

Mark made an uncomfortable gesture with a hand waving in front of him, tried a body language that should have been adequate to tell Yukhei that he had enough of him. “Whatever, Yukhei. Leave me alone.”

“Then something _happened_?” but of course, Yukhei wouldn’t care.

“Well. Something happened. Everything happened. What do you expect? This is life, Yukhei. Everything is destined and bound to happen in life.”

“What exactly happened?”

“ _Je ne sais pa_.”

“What?”

Mark laughed. “It’s French. I learned it these days.”

“Means?”

Mark blowed another smoke from his respiratory system. “I don’t know.”

Yukhei gasped, was lost at words and he looked like he was gonna give Mark a good punch in the face. Little did Yukhei know, Mark wish for the _punch_ if Yukhei was really going to voluntarily give him one.

“What the fuck? Do you really have to go the hard way to only say _I don’t fucking know_?”

Mark heaved a breathe as he pressed the remaining of his cigar to the ashtray, crushed it into ashes before he finally stood, facing Yukhei. The act of sacrificing the weed that he treasured during these difficult hours showed that maybe his patience had grown thin to Yukhei, knowing that the taller guy had no idea how to listen. _Or_ maybe it had grown thin to himself instead, knowing that he almost lost his life if Yukhei wasn’t there. Knowing that perhaps he could do better in coping than making himself a fool out of this.

“Well then tell me, Yukhei. What _fucking_ language should I use to make you understand when I _clearly_ told you to leave me alone? You never _fucking_ listen, do you?”

“What’s wrong with you? What are you so _fucking_ pissed about?”

“Really? Last time I checked, you were the one who pissed at me first.”

Yukhei pointed at the fence. His eyes almost bugged out and all the veins in his neck were weirded out. Mark swore for all his life that this was the first time for him to see Yukhei in this light. “Because you are going to _fucking_ kill yourself, Mark Lee! How am I supposed to not losing my _shit_!!!”

“For _fuck_ sake, it’s my _fucking_ life and it’s my _fucking_ call whether I want to end it or ride along on it!”

“It is NOT only your call! I have a _fucking_ say on it too!”

Mark laughs in cynic. He shook his head and clenched a fist. For few seconds he was considering whether to vent his anger away and punched Yukhei in the face for testing his patience. Fortunately, he was still able to reach the peace within himself and had his index finger pointing in front of Yukhei’s face instead.

“Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?”

“I am your _fucking_ husband, and maybe this marriage didn’t bind any commitment for you, but the vow _did_ to me. What about the _remind each other not to be a fucking moron?_ What about _be there for each other even when we are fucking sick of each other_? So, I don’t care, Mark. I don’t _fucking_  care whether you’re cursing me or hating me or asking me to _fucking_ leave you alone, believe me, I’m never going to. But if you want to get rid of me because you want me to leave you, then _please_. Over my fucking dead body.”

Mark gritted his teeth once Yukhei had done with his speech. He turned himself around and let his back facing Yukhei instead. He didn’t want to look at _him_. Not at this state. Not at this betrayal that he’d done to the person who cared about him. He wanted to hug Yukhei and cried to him, but the other part of him wanted to hold back and continue fighting him. He didn’t want to appear broken. He didn’t want to appear vulnerable. Not even to Yukhei. He had to fight back. He had to scream again, curse again, get mad again, and maybe really punch Yukhei in the face this time.

But he _failed_.

Nothing came out. His legs trembled and his fist weakened, as he released all his fingers free, he felt quite amount of zeal had left his soul. Powerless, he probably could be flown away by the wind this time, even without the wings. The only last escape he could make was sitting back to his wood deck chair, head bowed down to the balcony ground, hands fold together.

“Are you sure?” it came out as whisper.

“What?” Yukhei seemed taken aback by the sudden soft response.

“Are you fucking sure that you are never going to leave me? Can you promise that? Can you assure me with _that_ bullshit?” Mark finally looked up and met Yukhei in the eyes. There was a change of expression in Yukhei’s face when he finally was able to see Mark.

 _Mark was in tears_.

“Because everyone fucking left me, Yukhei.. Even the people whom I care the most! They left me, Yukhei. They lied! They fucking lied!”

Yukhei walked closer and squatted down in front of Mark. His hands grasped Mark’s and took them in his grip. Mark cried even harder upon the slight action from Yukhei. If this was a pity, then Yukhei should know that Mark would rather have Yukhei not done it for him.

“Hey, hey, dude... help me understand, _please_?”

“Didn’t you read the news?”

Yukhei frowned. “ _What_ news?

“Plane crash in Southern America. All died.”

“Okay.. what about it?”

“My parents. My brother. His wife. All there..”

“W- _what_?”

“They all died, Yukhei. Fucking... died…” Mark choked in between his words. “...and I don’t know what to do..”

 

* * *

 

 

Mark remembers the passage his brother used to read him from Lang Leav book.

Losing someone isn’t an event or an occasion. It doesn’t happen only one. It happens over and over again. It happens when he picks up his father’s favorite jacket in the closet, when he reads his mother’s journal book about him that had all of his photos inside, and it especially happens when he opens up his brother’s little drawer on his bedside to find the matched siblings rings they bought before Mark moved to South Korea.

He ends up wearing it again, despite knowing that it would not help to heal the pain.

It has been five years since he steps into the mansion that his Father built in Vancouver once again. When he left the house with rage and anger to his parents became his master, never had it ever crossed his mind that he would finally make a return for a funeral. What he wish was a simple acceptance from his Dad for his sinner and gay son, and a smile from a proud Mother who finally stopped wishing him to continue the family business that he despised. He wish for a simple and happy reunion as a family who used to really love each other. It’s such a shame that he would never get that recognition nor the warmth that he yearned for. His parents died knowing that their youngest son hated them, and Mark could never do anything to amend that.

Then a bitter goodbye is what he deserves, perhaps.

Yet somehow, even in his effort to seek the good in this goodbye, he cannot help but to complain God for how too rude and cruel this has been. Because even in the funeral, in the very occasion where Mark should have been able to look at them for the last time, kiss their foreheads, and bid a sincere goodbye with a good cry, he could not do any of them. Their bodies were scattered in the sea and still nowhere to find. He was called for several times to the Puerto Rico and got his DNA tested with the remaining bodies of the victims that were managed to be collected from the sea, and still, none of them belonged to Mark’s family. After three months of the accident and the government of Puerto Rico announced to put an end for the SAR team to evacuate the victims, Mark made a decision to return to Canada and held a funeral in the church where they used to visit together as a family.

Yukhei, Jeno, Jaemin, Jungwoo, Haechan, and Taeil flew from South Korea to attend the funeral. The colleagues of his office even booked a plane for the sake of honoring the memory of the Lee family. During the whole ceremony, Mark didn’t cry nor say anything unless the time when Mark was asked to do his speech. He asked Yukhei to revise some wordings he put in his eulogy the night before, yet Yukhei refused. Saying that everything he would cry out in the funeral will be just fine. Even if he had to curse it out.

“And, brother.. I will never forget the conversation we shared in that lame patio swing bed that you bought for our garden. Do you remember how much I hated that thing because it was pink and wasn’t in tune with the whole course of our backyard? I said you were so stupid for buying that.. Turned out now, it would probably the thing that I would never want to lose forever. Perhaps I would even have it Fedex-ed to Seoul because it was the fucking best.”

There is a long course of silence as Mark gathers his strength to read the upcoming sentence.

“It was the fucking best now because there’s part of you in it.”

 

When the funeral ended, the first thing Mark is searching when arriving at his house again is the patio swings bed that he mentioned. He hasn’t had a time to pay a visit at the patio swings bed and reminisced the good memories on it since his arrival in Vancouver last night because of the funeral preparations and his attempts to look for his family legal documents remained in their bedrooms.

“The others are preparing dinner.” Yukhei, still in his funeral suit, approaches and joins him on the patio swings as soon as he finds Mark being a loner in the backyard.

“I have to go back to Seoul tomorrow, and you could take all--”

“..no.” Mark slightly uses his legs on the ground to swing the chair he is seating, and he feels Yukhei is helping him to power it up. “I will return too. I need to work.”

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t know, but I am very sure that of all the other things in this world, this house is what I need the least right now.” as the memories keep hitting him like a shower of an ice bucket every single time he hovered each corner of the house. Because somehow to Mark, they are still _there_ , etched to their favorite places and stuffs in the house and ghosted Mark with the hallucination of them.

“You’re wearing a ring. You look like a real married man now.” Yukhei’s attempt to divert the conversation as he pointed out something unfamiliar in Mark’s ring finger.

Mark laughs. “Yeah, it’s mine and my brother’s. He loved this kind of matching and couple stuffs like this. It was quite silly, but I’m happy now that I have it. Feels like I have him around with me. I was the one being silly because I ditched it. Turned out he kept these with him in his childhood bedroom all this time.”

“Don’t ditch it again this time, then.”

“You bet I will.” Mark glances at his finger one last time before diverting his attention to Yukhei. “We don’t have a wedding ring.”

Yukhei shrugs his shoulders. “We don’t.”

Mark dives his hand to the pocket inside his tux and takes out a similar match of the ring to his palm. “Can you wear this?”

“What the hell?”

“A simple thought hit me: If you and I wear this, I will never lose it. Plus, it helps us cosplaying as married men. We don't even need to pay a penny for this though. It's fucking free, and these shit my brother bought ain't cheap too.”

“Hang in there.." it was too much information for Yukhei as he puts both of his hand in front of his chest, a gesture to stop Mark from speaking. "Are you saying.. we are even doing _rings_ now?”

“I know, it’s fucking disgusting _right_? But you know what’s more disgusting? What you said to me in the balcony about our vow.”

Yukhei rolled his eyes. The  _I will never leave you_ part becomes Mark's favorite sentence to tease Yukhei. “Fine… but it won’t fit, though.”

“Come here.” Mark takes Yukhei’s hand and puts the ring on the tip of his annulary. As he slides it inside, it went really smoothly as if the ring finds its true master. “Congratulations. You are the Lord of the Ring.”

“This is fucking cringeworthy, Mark.”

Mark smirks upon the remark. “Do you know what they usually do after putting the rings on each other?”

Yukhei frowned. The answer is too obvious and he doesn’t want to mention it. Mark really loves to tease him in regard to their fake marriage, because Yukhei’s reaction is always priceless and never fails to give him a good laugh.

“You _kiss_ the groom, Yukhei.”

Maybe it’s a way to end Mark’s teasing, or maybe it’s the way to comply with Mark’s order, because in the next few seconds afterwards, without a slight of hesitation, Yukhei suddenly closes the gap between them, grabs Mark’s neck to pull his face closer, and crashes Mark’s lips with his. He engulfs Mark’s upper lip and savours the taste in it with every gentle move his lips made. Mark was bewildered, yet didn’t pull away from Yukhei. Instead, he slowly adjusts to Yukhei’s rhythm and shuts his eyes to focus on returning the kiss. Maybe it is the repetition of their first _Truth or Dare_ kiss, however there’s a slight shock when Yukhei’s tongue tapped his lips slowly, asking for an entrance. To which, he happily volunteers to open and sucks Yukhei’s tongue in return. Mark decides that this is definitely nothing like their _Truth or Dare_ kiss a few years back, especially when he hears Yukhei softly moans in between their kiss. It was too good to be compared with their _Truth or Dare_ kiss. Too bad it was too _short_.

“You’re such a good kisser.” Mark slightly pants when they finally pull apart. Their foreheads are against each other.

“So I've heard.” Yukhei whispered as he controls his irregular breathing and leans his back to the chair.

“What was that for?”

“Scientific reason? Research said that a kiss could trigger the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonine that could help us happier and healthier. Hope you are happier now?”

Mark unconsciously smiles, he is in disbelief of what he just heard. “I am _so_ fucking thrilled. We should do it more often, then.”

“Now that _is_ kinky.” Yukhei laughs as he gets out of the swing chair and lets Mark occupies the whole seaters for himself.

“That’s for like.. scientific reason? Making each other happy and calm? I mean, keeping each other happy should be in our vow too, dude.”

Yukhei extends his hand to ask for Mark’s when they heard Jeno shouted from inside the house that dinner is ready. “Man, you know where to find a good porn if you are _fucking_ horny. Don’t involve me in this.”

“Fuck off.” as Mark reaches to Yukhei’s hand and they walk together hand in hand to get their dinner.

Somehow in this date and this time, Mark wants to take a remembrance and probably even puts a circle on his calendar for something big that just happened. Not because they just had their first kiss as husbands, but to the fact that for the first time in forever, Yukhei took a wrong interpretation of his words.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the kind feedback y'all! 128 kudos now wow! Thank you thank you for reading this story. Just so you know, your comments and feedbacks have always kept me going with this story. Really fun talking with y'all about this story. It really sparks a lot of inspiration to keep writing thissss.  
> Anyway, enjoy the update~~

That night after the funeral, Yukhei has a hard time sleeping. There are some reasons assumed in his head to explain the insomnia: probably the jetlag; or the fact that the room he is sleeping in is way too big that it creeps the hell out of him; _or_ the kiss he shared with Mark in the afternoon.

 _Definitely not the last one_ , he thought as he shooed that possibility away.

As he faces the roof with eyes nailed straight to the twelve o’clock from his position, his back on the bed, and hands on the chest, Yukhei starts to count the imaginary sheeps that jumped over the imaginary fence he built in his brain. He shuts his eyes with a hope that the effort he is doing this time will bear the fruit of success.

One. Two. Three.

Four.

Five.

 _Krieeet_. A door sound.

 _Shit_.

He is forced to have his eyes open again and tries to carefully listen to the vague noise outside which sounds like somebody’s steps hovering the floor he is on. He becomes cautious as the sound becomes closer to the direction of his bedroom and it successfully intimidates him inside out. With hands fidgeting his pillow, Yukhei prays that it was a human of all anything else. Yet, when he expected his door will be knocked, the sound of the steps slowly fade and is gone. Taken by curiousity, he tiptoes to the bedroom door slowly and puts his ear on the wooden material. There’s nothing now. No sound at all on a spur of moment, and it sends shiver down to Yukhei’s spine.

It is impossibly a thief, considering the security in Mark’s house is probably on a par with that of Royal family. It is also impossibly his friends because Yukhei is on the first floor only with Jeno and Jaemin uses the room across of his. Last time he checked, both of them has slept soundly due to the immense exhaustion since their arrival in Vancouver. It is understandable since all of them haven’t got proper rest because of the funeral preparation and the jetlag they suffered. Truthfully, most of them were almost asleep during funeral – yet fortunately, the respect towards Mark’s feeling was bigger than that.

Back to the problem – _who the hell is that_?

Yukhei might be the biggest scaredy cat in his circle, but his foolhardiness is one of a kind. He unlocks his bedroom door and pulls it slowly. His left foot is out first, following is his waist, his hands, his arms, then his face, until half side of his body is now out. There is _nothing_. When he turns his head to the other direction and totally diverts the attention that he was holding from the balcony to the kitchen longue, his whole body suddenly jolted because –

“OH GOD!”

_Prang!_

“YUKHEI!”

“YOU SCARED ME!”

“YOU scared me!”

–it turns out to be Kim Jungwoo. A cup of tea he was holding has been scattered on the floor and caused a little mess. Upon the realization, both Jungwoo and Yukhei are guffawing at the fools that they were before finally getting down to pick up the pieces of the glasses and put it in a tissue that Yukhei brought from his bedroom.

“I thought you are a ghost, for God’s sake!” Yukhei giggles, one hand is picking up the glass shatters, the other hand is wiping the floor with the tissue.

“How could you?”

“I mean, Jeno and Jaemin have slept and who else would it be?”

“Kitchen is in the first floor, Yukhei. Also, what if _I_ were one of Mark’s maids?” Jungwoo shook his head in disbelief and Yukhei is still laughing. What a truly scaredy cat, Jungwoo now must have thought of Yukhei. He finds the encounter was actually the funniest thing that happened that day.

“I know. Being scared makes me dumber.”

“Aren’t you always?” Jungwoo is lifting the whole mess and now heading to the kitchen. Yukhei is tailing him this time and helping Jungwoo to open the bin for trashing the newly made garbage. Jungwoo washes his hand and takes out a new cup from the glass drawer in the corner of the room to make himself another cup of tea.

“Now I have to tell Mark that during my first visit to his place, I just broke his cup.”

Yukhei slips a small giggle as he proceeds to wash his hands too. “He wouldn’t even notice.”

Instead of going back to his bedroom, Yukhei finds himself sitting on the bar-designed dining room across Jungwoo. His hands roam the structure of the teak wood concocting the bar table and he unconsciously starts counting in his head of how much it costs, from the production to the shipment. Almost every materials in Mark’s house are made of tropical timbers, and it leaves an impression to Yukhei that Mark's parents were very attentive towards detail and quality, even if that means they have to pay quite amount of money for the shipping and every timber verification legality documenting processes.

Soon, his hand traced to the end of the table where a line of Wine bottles from completely different brands standing in a queue. He takes the seemingly already opened Champagne bottle standing on the third place of the line and pours it to the one of the drinking glasses that have been provided.

“Why didn’t you sleep?” Jungwoo joins him and sits in front of him. His hands linger on the cup of tea he just made, seeking for the warmth.

“I can’t.” Yukhei shortly responds, taking a sip from his glass.

“Don’t you have a flight to catch tomorrow?”

“I do.. what about you and Taeil?”

“I will fly out to Seoul tomorrow but Taeil will stay here until next week. Catch up, you know.”

Yukhei nodded. He fully understood Taeil’s intention when Jungwoo said ‘catch-up’. Taeil and Yukhei were almost native in Canada because both of them spent almost their entire childhood in the country before finally Yukhei moved to Hongkong and lived with his maternal grandparents there, while Taeil moved to South Korea until finishing his high school. Soon, Taeil returned again to Canada until he earned his Ph.D title before going back again to get hired by Seoul National University as a teaching staff. Basically, Taeil has more friends in Canada than he does in South Korea, and if Yukhei has to explain from the square one again, it was how Taeil met Jungwoo because Yukhei introduced them both at his graduation party.

No, he didn’t want to recall the regret again today. Especially without weed and Mark.

“Good then, he can keep Mark company for the time being.” Yukhei returns to the conversation as he diverts himself from the buried contemplation.

“Haechan is going to be here too for the next three days.”

“Thank God. That makes me feel easier to leave tomorrow.”

Jungwoo raises his cup. “Sure. For Mark.”

Yukhei raises his glass and nods before sipping a bit of his drink again. “So, why are you still awake?”

“Maybe jetlag.” a classic cliché answer that works all the time. “What about you?”

“Maybe jetlag too? I don’t know. I guess the room is just too big for myself.”

Jungwoo raised an eye brow. “I thought you were sleeping with Mark?”

“Na’ah, he wants to sleep at his brother’s bedroom.”

“..and why did you not sleep with him there?”

“Why would I?”

“Because you both are husbands?”

Yukhei mouthed a muffled ‘ _aaah’_ when he is once again _reminded_ that he is married to Mark. He sometimes forgot that the scenario is fake only for both Mark and Yukhei, but is real and true for the friends around him and even for the rest of the world.

“We just… appreciate each other’s privacy, I guess.” Yukhei tried his best not to sound like he stutters.

Jungwoo frowns. “You both are very weird.”

“I know right.”

“Still can’t believe you both ended up together.”

Yukhei cackled. “Me neither. Never dreamt of it.”

“And still bitter that you didn’t even tell me anything about it.” Jungwoo scornfully added.

“Well, you’re not the first one that we disappoint over that.”

“Still. You owe me an explanation.”

Yukhei shrugs his shoulders. “Shoot.”

It is not an easy ocassion to have one on one conversation with Jungwoo, especially after his _dumb_ confession at Jungwoo and Taeil’s wedding. There must have been a lot of questions hanging in Jungwoo's head for two years since Mark and Yukhei’s sudden marriage, because it was two years of silence too for both of them. Yukhei could only meet Jungwoo either at the parties that their friends held or in the family gatherings in which Jungwoo, as Taeil’s husband, has become an indirect family member of his too. Aside from that, it is quite difficult for Yukhei to set a schedule for a meeting even with anyone. He mostly flies in and out of the country, and never really settles in Seoul for more than a week.

Jungwoo looks careful and it is shown through the way he bites his bottom lip. “Why Mark?”

Yukhei holds a detained confusion for awhile. He doesn’t want to sound crazy right now, but the question that Jungwoo just threw sounds like a jealousy in Yukhei’s ears. Or _not_. Mayhaps Yukhei is being completely out of his mind this time; and maybe, _maybe_ , this is a tiny part of his selfish ass that wishes for a redemption from Jungwoo. A wish that Jungwoo suddenly realized he was wrong for taking Yukhei for granted.

 _Ha_! Now, he really sounds like a delusional lunatic indeed.

“Why not?” Yukhei shortly responds, taking another sip from his glass.

Jungwoo rolls his eyes. “I want to hear the real reason, Yukhei. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I am happy, _very_ happy for you both, but a lot of people found it strange too. And we don’t get to talk about this all the time, because we don’t really have much time to talk, so.. what is it? Spill it out. I am curious, I mean.. I get it that you and Mark are best of the best friends out there, but to get married with each other? That's quite.. peculiar since you both are very opposite."

Yukhei knocks his finger to the table as Jungwoo finished his sentence, he _is_ thinking.

Mark Lee. It’s not that hard to describe him. A bully, sometimes playful, the other time he is just a prick, but overall he is a good person. But what Jungwoo asked was more than just who Mark Lee is – yet why Mark Lee. Of all the fifty two million people in South Korea and 7.7 billion people in the world, why Yukhei chooses to spend the rest of his lifetime with Mark Lee.

“Mark is…” Yukhei recalls the memories with Mark. Good and bad. The best and the worst. Happy and sad. When he was a mess in Jungwoo’s wedding. When Mark was a mess over Haechan’s marriage. When both of them hit the rock bottom and escaped to the pot. When they were happily sober and celebrated it through a simple Netflix binge. When he made a cup of earl grey every single time Yukhei arrived from abroad trip. When he turned off the volume of the TV whenever Yukhei is reading. When both of them shared their very first vacation together in Siem Reap. When they kissed and can be cool about it as if nothing ever happened.

Mark is… “ _..everythingship_.” he unconsciously muttered the word.

For a few seconds, Yukhei is stunned by what his mind is fabricating. He could sense Jungwoo is frowning on the other side, but Yukhei tries his best not to look at him and alter it to the wine rested in his glass that he drinks in one shot. He doesn’t know why but he feels disconcerted about what he just said.

"Everythingship, huh? Like a special word shared between you two? Elaborate please, this stranger doesn't understand." Jungwoo smirks when he notices the blush creeps in Yukhei's cheeks. It is not everyday he got to see Yukhei being dumb like this. The last time he is like this was when Jungwoo returns Yukhei's kiss on his cheek, on the day of his wedding with Taeil. 

“Mark is a highly intelligent person, particularly in business and management, but also arrogant and confrontational, the kind of person who regularly swore at me, berated me, and told me in no uncertain terms that I was a bumbling fool. But then I realized, that what he did to me was really effective. That was his way of conversing, and it may always sound that he spreads the negative impact through his words, but that was actually making me doubt my own competence, and it actually helped me to live up my full potentia.”

Yukhei pours a drink in his glass once again. “On the other hand, Mark is also a.. highly sensitive and emotional person. He never showed it, but I know when he feels hurt. I know when his heart ached for you guys. I know he cares and loves the people in his life but he never knows how to show it to them. He is very humane, but his self-defense mechanism made him look like a jerk.”

Jungwoo nods as he proceeds to drink up his whole cup. “Now I am very sure.”

“Of what?”

“You..” Jungwoo points at Yukhei’s chest. “You really love Mark Lee. The wedding is _surely based on faith and love for each other and I am sure…_ ”

Every words came out of Jungwoo’s mouth suddenly became inaudible to Yukhei’s ears. He lost it at _You really love Mark Lee_ , and as if a spell casted through those words, Yukhei is bewitched. His system glitch, his words stalled in his head, and he doesn’t bat an eye as he counted one in a million probabilities to find the truth in Jungwoo’s words. When Jungwoo finally finished his speech about marriage life and its nitty-gritty, Yukhei drinks the whole now  _Chardonnay_ in his glass with a decision in his hand.

“You’re right. I’ll come to Mark at his brother’s bedroom.”

 

A little while later after Jungwoo and Yukhei bid a goodnight, Yukhei really made his words to the room Mark is sleeping in. He didn’t knock, assuming Mark has slept, yet turned out he found Mark is sitting behind the table with piles of documents and books scattered not only on the table, but also all over the floors. Mark was quite surprised upon Yukhei’s arrival and made a simple gesture of waving before going back to his business again.

“Can I sleep here? The bedroom is too big, it creeps me out.”

“Suit yourself.” Mark murmurs as he goes through the documents in his hands.

“What are you doing?” Yukhei said as he approached Mark’s table.

When Yukhei complained about how big his bedroom is for one person, Yukhei didn’t expect that there is even a bigger room in Mark’s house designed exactly for _only_ one person. He looks around and finds himself a bit dumbfounded because it is quite the size of their apartment in Seoul. Everything in the room is astonishing, from the elevated bed platform to the design of the room which uses soft and soothing grays and silvers to create a sparkling, luxurious feel. The ultramodern chandelier that dangles over the bed caught his attention the most, and the plush silvery gray carpet he’s walking on practically begs for his bare feet. The only humble thing about the bedroom is actually the simple white gauze curtains that hanging on the corner of the room, but the darkwood accents on every surface on top of it failed to hide its grandeur once more.

To Yukhei and everybody else who knows him, Mark Lee usually looks arrogant and annoyingly pretentious, but now that Yukhei gets to visit the real life of Mark Lee in Vancouver, he suddenly looks too modest for the whole inheritance under his skin.

“This whole shit kills me.” Mark grunts, practically pulled Yukhei back from his own astonishment. He stands behind Mark’s seat and takes a good look over the files and documents that Mark learned. Business. Money. Supply chain documents. Basically _every_ business  _thing_ of the Lee family.

“I don’t want to fucking run this thing.” Mark frustratingly said as he slams the folder he’s just done with to the floor.

Yukhei looks around, steps upfront and leans back to the table. He takes one of the folders that Mark queued and goes through the filings inside. “I can do this all tomorrow if you want to, and I’ll give you every brief analysis you need to know about this thing.”

“But I don’t want to run this thing, Yukhei, don’t you hear me. I want to sell it all out, or, _shit_ , I don’t know.”

“Sure, okay, I heard you. But tomorrow. I’ll give you the resolve of this whole thing tomorrow.”

“Why the _hell_ tomorrow?”

“Because you need to sleep, _moron_.”

“Can somebody _even_   _fucking_ sleep when they have these kinds of homework to do?” Mark snorts, clearly doesn’t seem happy with what he is doing.

Yukhei shrugs his shoulder. “I can, and I’ll do it the first thing tomorrow. Now let’s sleep.”

“I believe in your skill but unless you are a God, don't tell me you can finish this all especially when you’re going to have flight tomorrow”

“I am _not_ a God. But apparently, I’m the best business analyst in the best business consulting firm in the world, so?”

Mark scoffs. “The _fucking_ hubris.”

“Let’s sleep now.”

“After this one folder –“

“Now.”

“Yukhei, I swear –“

Yukhei leans closer and captures Mark’s lips in his before he could finish off his sentence. What’s in Yukhei’s mind? He doesn’t know. He only thinks about what Jungwoo said earlier and he is now acting in the light of his impulse. Yukhei expected a rejection and another series of aspersions from Mark. Turned out, Mark reprocicated his gesture, and even pulls him closer. In no time, Yukhei sits on Mark’s lap and has his hands tangling behind Mark’s neck. It is a longer kiss than the one they had this afternoon, and this time they enjoy it a little bit too much as the sound of the moans appear too frequent from both parties.

When they finally separated, they gasped for air and tried their best to return their breathing rhythm in the normal state. Yukhei is getting back on his feet and once again leans against the table since he is aware how much he weighs compared to Mark.

“What the hell was that?” Mark demands an explanation. To which Yukhei rakes his head and wipes his sweat on the forehead. The aircon doesn’t seem to affect the temperature raised between them both.

“Risk management. Scientific reason number two, that kiss could help you calm down. I mean, you were panicking?” Yukhei is good. Too good with words, as Mark has ever mentioned before.

Mark chortles softly. “So _kissing_ is even our thing now? You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“Why? Do you want me to cuddle you and hug you to sleep too?”

“Oh, do that and I’ll kill you.” Mark says. He places the documents back to its folder and gets ready heading to bed.

“Agreed.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long time no update! Enjoy ~

Toward the end of the week, Mark came back to Seoul. He finally put an end to the horror spent in Vancouver after Yukhei solving his father’s business problem in a blink of an eye. _Magic_ , Mark would call. When Yukhei said he was the best, he indeed wan’t just bulshitting.

Speaking of Yukhei, Mark had not seen him for a week by the way. Surely not a new thing since Yukhei’s job is capable to pull them apart for weeks. There was even time when he did not see Yukhei at all for a month straight and they both were fine. That may be why he still wears the frowns on forehead every time Yukhei texted _“I miss you.”_ every-single-day like Mark has gone for eternity.

 _“Dude, what are you smoking?”_ was all Mark replied.

Today is nothing different.

In the morning when Mark arrives at his apartment, he automatically slams his bedroom door and throws himself on the bed, couldn’t care any further about the piles of boxes tailing with him in the living room - asking to be unpacked and sorted. He is finally at his place, without his maids, without his father’s business colleagues, without Vancouver’s sickening temperature. The jetlag is quick to pick him up to the rapid eye movement, to the deep sleep, to the dreamland… until the sound of loud stomping in - what Mark assumes - a Hulk scale coming closer complemented with the familiar bass voice in high volume.

“Man! I’ve missed you! I bought us some dimsum for breakfast!”

 _Shit, Yukhei_. Mark doesn’t even try to open his heavy lids and pulls a blanket over his head instead, trying to muffle Yukhei’s noise. He feels his whole body is attacked with a sudden paralysis as a whole weight of Yukhei falls upon his back.

“FFFFFFFfffff _uuucccckkk!_ ”

There’s some good minutes where Mark tries hard to fight Yukhei. Yeah, he _does_ try though. Even though everything ends up in futile because Yukhei is way bigger and taller than Mark. The efforts he carried on wasted as he opens his eyes slowly and tries to flip his body so Yukhei will fall from the bed.

“Okay, okay, you got my attention. Okay!” 

Yukhei finally lets go of him and sits on the edge of the bed. Mark still having half of his face covered with blanket until Yukhei forces to pull the blanket open, revealing the bruises around Mark’s cheekbones and lips. Mark was surprised at the sudden attack and he was about to cover it up, but realized that it's too late. He witnessed Yukhei has already had his jaw dropped at the sight.

“What the hell happened?”

A normal response.

Mark rolls his eyes and quickly turns to his side as he tries to sleep away. Yukhei though doesn’t let him. He grabs his hand and forces the shorter to face him again.

“Uh..” Mark blinks his eyes quite fast, he massaged his temples, _thinking_. The answer is right at the back of his mind, he just doesn’t know how to respond it. “I thought you have a meeting in Shanghai today?”

“What the hell happened, Mark?” Yukhei tries to buy some more patience as he puts himself in a difficult battle with Mark’s expertise: dodging questions.

Mark shuts his eyes, hands run through his own hair. “You bought me dimsum, where is it?”

“Mark!”

The raise in Yukhei’s voice is a bad sign. He knows it is the time to stop fooling around. He knows Yukhei, and he knows which voice Yukhei uses when he is _just_ mad, and which one he uses when he is  _mad_ mad. This one is the  _mad_ mad. One hundred percent.

“I got beaten Yukhei, you could tell.” Mark hissed, clearly looks annoyed when Yukhei starts digging his nose in the topic he doesn’t want to talk about. “Why asking when you have eyes?”

Yukhei heaved a deep sigh. At the times when Yukhei lost his grip on patience, he is almost sure that ninety nine percent of it is because of Mark Lee. “I know - but why? What happened?”

Silence falls as the sole answer. What happens to be one minute feels like forever when Mark tries to dodge the judging look from Yukhei the entire time. Yukhei knows this could take forever for Mark to speak up and tell the truth because Mark is not a fan of spilling his own feelings, but he doesn’t mind waiting forever to get Mark’s words come out.

“Do you want me to find this out from the others?” Yukhei asked when he remembers Taeil and Donghyuck also just went back from Vancouver with Mark this morning. “Can I ask Taeil—“

“Don’t you dare-” Mark quickly cuts him, earns a surprise look from Yukhei which only signs one thing: Taeil knows what’s wrong.

“Fine.” He pauses once again to let out a heavy breathe and finally this time bringing himself to look at Yukhei in his eyes. “Taeil was beating the shit out of me.”

There is a mix of confusion and shock as Yukhei tries to process the sudden news. Yukhei wants to say something, asks more, but all the words only dance on the tip of his tongue, unwanting to leave.

Mark caught the signs of Yukhei disfunctioning, and tried to break the ice. “Well I punched him back, so technically we were fighting.”

Yukhei shakes his head this time, still doesn’t know what to say.

Mark nods at himself, he sits from his position and puts her back against the headboard. “Taeil… got mad at me. He caught me and Donghyuck… kissed.”

Yukhei stares at him in horror.

“He kissed me first and I didn’t even kiss back because _that_ is when Taeil came and threw his punch to my face. Thinking that I cheated on you!” He quickly clarifies before Yukhei could think that Mark is somewhat a thirdwheeler in somebody’s marriage.

“Yukhei, are you not gonna say anything?” Mark is raking his own hair, feeling guilty and heavy with the silence of Yukhei. He intuitively puts his hand on the back of Yukhei’s hand and carresses it softly. “I’m sorry that I fought with your best bro. I’ll try to make it up.”

Yukhei still doesn’t budge. He only puts the dimsum box on the bedside, from the look of it Mark knows Yukhei has lost his appetite. Yukhei has probably regretted for not catching his flight to Shanghai and works there instead - realizing there is no use in waiting for Mark Lee. Yukhei is probably angry and upset and disappointed at him that he cannot even bring himself to even say a word. Not even a _cuss_. This is what Mark has been afraid of when he tells the truth to Yukhei. His man right here could tolerate him for being stupid, doing drugs, nearly killing himself, but fighting with Taeil?

Taeil is literally Yukhei’s almost everything.

Mark unconsciously draws circles with his thumb on Yukhei’s hand, feeling awkward because he doesn’t know what to do.

“Mark.”

When Yukhei finally says something, Mark only looks up to him attentively. He is ready if Yukhei wants a divorce, even though it will be funny since the marriage itself does never even existed.

“If Taeil didn’t beat you, will you kiss him back?”

“Huh?” _That’s unpredictable_.

Mark shifts his position, from leaning on headboard to completely laying down again. His arm rests on the back of his head as he’s thinking. _Interesting question_.

Actually, he doesn’t know. He has been in love with Donghyuck since forever and he has been dreaming about kissing the sinful lips of his and even way further than that every single day of his college life. However lately, he has no idea either his feeling has died down or he simply has been occupied with the recent event happening at his family. He really cannot sort his mind.

“I don’t know, maybe?” Mark is not very sure of himself and this is new. He is usually firm of what he wants and the overthinking part goes to Yukhei. “Yeah, maybe..”

 

* * *

 

 

 _“Maybe.._ ”

The only word lingers in Yukhei’s head as he drives down to his office. He cancelled the meeting in Shanghai as he heard from one of Mark’s asisstants that the man will be arriving in Seoul today. He knows now why Mark insists him to not pick him up at the airport, and why he was obsessing over Yukhei’s schedule for this week. All for hiding the bruises and the stories behind it, buried in Vancouver along with the kiss he shared with Donghyuck.

A kiss.

With Donghyuck.

Yukhei pushed his brake in extreme sudden when his vision blurred at the sight of chilldren passing the street. He quickly bows apologetically from his seat to the parents who slammed his car. He has been so out of the game since earlier this morning and even Mark notices it.

_“Yukhei you spilled the milk.”_

_“Yukhei, you hold your chopsticks wrong.”_

_“Yukhei, is your dimsum threatening to kill you?”_

Slowly, he drives his car to the road side and turns off the engine. Something is messing with his system and he just wants to be upset all day. He just wants to get mad and yell at somebody but he has no idea _why_.

Actually he knows why, but he is too much of a coward to admit it.

He take out his phone from his chest pocket and inevitably starts to sort his contact. He feels like he has to burst this out to somebody as he has been bottling this up since earlier. Truth is, he has not spoken at all since Mark delivered the reason behind his bruises. He only stayed shut, and –

_Truth is liberating –_

Damn. The nostalgia of those three fucking words suddenly spurred in. It hits Yukhei home and reminds him of why he was never able to hold Jungwoo at all. He was too afraid. He was coward. He hated his own truth. He still is and does.

As he scrolls through his contact list, he is making his consideration. To whom he should console. To whom he should cry out his frustration.

 

 _Kim Jungwoo_.

Definitely not him. He will definitely speak out the truth for Yukhei like a dagger stabbed straight to his chest. That will be too painful for him to hear.

 

_Moon Taeil._

Sure. But he is currently fighting with Mark Lee and he most probably will be very subjective about it. In addition, he doesn’t really know the whole picture of the truth.

 

 _Lee Donghyuck_.

Yukhei suddenly rolls his eyes. Even though he really wants to call the brat and asks him why the hell he kisses his husband when he has his own husband to kiss.

 

_Na Jaemin. Lee Jeno._

A bunch of clueless persons who will only join him to be confused and dazed. Not helping at all.

 

 _Mark Lee_.

Definitely the last person he wants to talk to at this moment.

 

However, he still presses _Call_ anyway. Once the dialing tone kicks in, he knows that he is a complete _dumbfuck_ that Mark Lee often says. There’s no turning back at this point.

  _“’sup?”_

He picked up. His voice sounds hasty, Mark was probably sleeping again when Yukhei left the apartment. Yukhei turns his loudspeaker on and puts his mobile phone on the passanger seat next to him as he starts his engine and drives slowly to the office.

“I need a friend to help me concentrate.”

_“Huh?”_

“I almost hit children.”

_“What the fuck? Are you drunk? Sleepy? You left the house like 10 minutes ago just fine?!”_

Yukhei only laughs. The crack sound when Mark’s voice turns from hasty to panic is quite funny.

_“Where are you? Do you want me to drive?”_

Mark often offers to drive him to work or to home. However this time, Yukhei doesn’t know why he feels special about the offer. Having Mark to drive him work sounds nice. Something about Mark driving him is – _what?_ Yukhei suddenly shakes his head, hushing the train of thoughts in his mind.

“You’re not even better with the jetlag, man.”

_“Right…”_

_“Take a taxi then.”_

“It’s alright, I got it.”

_“Are you okay? Anything got into you?”_

Is he okay? He cannot assure that. His well being is alright. He is healthy, barely sleepy because he got enough sleep last night. However the event where he was about to hit people on the road might also validate that he is not okay.

“I don’t know, man.” That’s the truth.

_“Okay, then. Drive safe. Anything you want to talk? Or should I google ‘30 questions you should ask in blind date’ and question you to keep you awake?”_

Both Mark and Yukhei are laughing at the idea. They agree it is hilarious. For a second, Yukhei thinks how _easy_ everything has been with Mark. He could be whatever he wants and talk whatever the shits when Mark is around.

“Mark, you said Renjun and Donghyuck are going to divorce.”

_“Uh-huh, what about it?”_

“…and he kissed you.” There’s a heaviness in Yukhei’s voice. He even feels strange for himself.

_“Apparently.”_

“Are you going to pursue him and file for divorce?”

_“Honestly, I don’t think they are going to divorce though. They might just be in a marriage crisis.”_

“You’re not answering my question.”

Mark is laughing, knowing that Yukhei is aware of how he dodged his question for nth times now.

_“I’m not going to file divorce.”_

“Why? Isn’t he the man of your dreams?”

_“Well I thought he was..”_

“He isn’t?”

_“I was just obsessed, and it was crazy. After losing my family, I learn better about love, and what I had for him.. wasn’t love.”_

Yukhei laughs imagining Mark’s face saying cheesy stuff like this.

_“Fuck you.”_

Yukhei laughs even louder, knowing Mark is bothered with his indirect insult. “Sorry, man. Just never thought you would say things like that.”

_“I know.. I must be crazy though. Why are you interested anyway?”_

“Uh..” Yukhei knocks his finger to the steering wheel, considering what to answer.

The truth? Or the lies? If he tells Mark the truth, will he freak out? Will they be strangers and the next thing he knows – he is kicked out from the apartment?

But this is Mark. The person whom he can always talk about anything to. He should not be afraid of anything. Mark will not judge him, instigate him, or make him feel small. Mark will most probably insult and mock him, but that’s it. That will last shortly and everything will be back to normal once again.

So maybe. Just maybe, he should take his shot this time. He should tell _his_ truth.

“I don’t want us to divorce because of Donghyuck.”

_“Okay, we won’t..”_

“In fact I don’t want us to divorce at all and I don’t like –“ his breathe hitched. This is not his territory, this has been out of the boundaries. He knows what he is going to say will possibly trap him in an endless hole of anxiety, but he gotta say it anyway.

“—I don’t like you kissing Donghyuck at all. I mean – man, I kissed you. We kissed and we did not kiss once. We kissed twice. And there is possibility that I will kiss you again because I have told you: this is our thing now, so technically it’s wrong for you to kiss other people. You cannot kiss two people at the same time Mark, that’s—” _cheating. “—disgusting.”_

Silence.

For almost two minutes.

A silence that is so deafening that Yukhei starts to lose his concentration again.

 _“Are you…”_ there’s a pause. And it makes Yukhei feels nervous. His heart fell to the pit and his legs weaken as he elaborates all the possibilities of how the sentence will end. _Jealous? In love with me? Wanting me? Willing to kiss me instead?_

_“…high?”_

Yukhei rolls his eyes.

Of all the thousand bad possibilities, Mark chose to ask this question. This is why he sometimes has trust issue with a human being named Mark Lee. He is stupidly unbelievable.

 

“You’re such a _dumbfuck_.” Yukhei quickly ends the call with Mark saying “ _Wait wait wait”_ hanging on the edge before he slams his phone back to the seat.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for staying even though I've been abandoning this fic in.....decade now.   
> Your kind comments, each one of you, really help me to get through my slump. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much :)

This has not been half of the day, but Yukhei feels he had enough of Mark Lee for the day. The fact that he still has to face another rounds of encountering Mark Lee this evening at the house makes his stomach flipsin weird way. He is currently considering some options, either sleeping over at Jeno’s place or booking a hotel near his office because it is impossible to look at Mark the same way after his—somewhat—confession and effort to make things exclusive with Mark Lee.

Even though Mark Lee is too stupid to notice it.

_“Are you high?”_

_Idiot. Moron. Dumbfuck._

Yukhei shakes his head to himself as he tries to focus on his work. Sorting all the documents laid out on his table. The work always does Yukhei good. The compilation of numbers and formulas help him to forget the noise and chaotic of the world, sit back, and relax. Maybe that’s why he rarely takes annual leave from the office, he can feel the work he is doing as his own vacation.

He swears he doesn’t hallucinate when he hears the noise runs through the corridor outside his room. There were people arguing, complemented with the sound of steps being dragged, and another loud voice saying _‘criminal’,_ and Yukhei starts to wonder if his colleagues are having an NCIS binge together at the central room.

He shrugs, and that’s when his office door busted open, showing two men fighting over door knob before one of them finally jumps into his office and runs to Yukhei’s table.

It will be less surprising if this is a twelve years old kid who barges into his room with such behaviour. However, this is Mark fucking Lee.

Mark Lee is in his office.

“Nice office.” Mark says in sing-song voice as his eyes trail the details of the room before him. A long glass table only for Yukhei, the wood flooring, massive glass wall takes up the three-fourths of the office wall – displaying the grandeur of Seoul landscapes before him, a long black leather couch, even he got a cabinet filled with martini for his own.

“What the hell.” the only words escaped from Yukhei’s mouth.

“I am sorry, Yukhei. This man kept saying you are his husband and he forces to—“

“It’s alright, Kunhang. He is my husband. Thanks.” He clarified, with a simple gesture to politely ask Kunhang to leave. On cue, Kunhang said some things in Cantonese only for Yukhei to nod at him before he finally shuts the door.

Mark Lee, still standing in front of the door, his thumb is pointing at his back tracing the place where Kunhang stood. “Who is he?”

“My personal assistant.”

“New guy?”

Yukhei only nods as he walks to the refrigerator on the corner of his office. He takes out a bottle of mineral water and throws it to Mark.

“Why do you have a male personal assistant?” emphasizing the _male_. Yukhei shoots a look at his sexist comment and Mark doesn’t comment any further as he gulps down the whole water in the bottle.

“Is it like you’re planning to hit on him when you are bored from work?” Mark teased, earns a lazy look from Yukhei.

“Yeah Mark, ain’t he hot?”

Mark shrugs. “Not hotter than me.”

Yukhei half sits on the edge of his table, legs are crossing and hands are folded in front of his chest - holding his urge to massage his own temple. He declared that he had enough of Mark Lee and here he is, standing in front of him nonchalantly. He can’t help but studies Mark Lee from top of his hair to feet. Hair disheveled, looks small in Yukhei’s flannel shirt, worn-out jeans, and batcombe wing dark tan shoes. Mark Lee is not _hot_ at all. He is… _cute_.

No.

Yukhei shuts his eyes closed. Saying to himself some mantra to stop thinking so highly of this idiot named Mark Lee. Never had it crossed his mind that he will have a battle against himself on _Mark Lee_. An intense one.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Mark notices, putting the bottle down to the table. He raises one of his eye brow – that seagull eye brow, Yukhei notices this just now. Another additional point of cuteness he found which made him lost to the battle against himself in an instance.

Yukhei 0 – 1 Yukhei.

 _Fuck_. He is clearly not in his right mind.

“You’ve been acting so weird since the morning.”

 _Right_.

“I’m..” Yukhei looks at the floor before something finally clicks in his mind. “—wait, why are you here, _again_?” he should have asked that since the beginning he saw Mark barging into his office. However, he was clearly distracted by other details of this visitor.

Even though, truthfully he doesn’t mind to be distracted at all, though.

“I am fucking worried, man. You didn’t answer my call or text.”

“Oh…” Yukhei scoured through all the pockets in his clothes to search his phone and finds none. “ _Shit._ I left it in the car. Wait.” he said as he walks to the telephone on the other side of his table and calls Kunhang to pick it up for him. The fact that he even forgot to bring his own phone means that the level of dumbness ruining Yukhei’s system has been escalating significantly.

This is terrible.

“Thought you were hitting people on the road for real.”

“Yeah?” Yukhei finally remembers when he was about to hit children this morning and called Mark to help him concentrate. That must have been the reason behind Mark’s fear. “Sorry, my head is really not in the game.”

“I can tell.”

Mark walks slowly to the long couch in the far opposite side of Yukhei’s long table and sinks himself in it. Yukhei’s gaze is not absent trailing even the smallest movement Mark made, and to the dark bags under Mark’s eyes, and to thinking of how he still manages to drive to his office only to make sure that Yukhei is fine. These small things sometimes got Yukhei confused. Either Mark Lee probably is really into this marriage or he is just being the business as usual: his best of best friend.

“Look.” Mark stretch out both of his hands as he looks up to Yukhei. “I am sorry that I fought with Taeil. If that messed you up so bad, I will come to him this afternoon to tell him sorry, okay?”

The thing is… Mark is really stupid. Even after he brought the topic of how he dislikes him kissing Donghyuck this morning, all he could conclude is that Yukhei was mad because he fought with Taeil. Not because of the _cause_ of why the fight happened.

Yukhei waves his hand, feeling helpless. “No worries. I’ll take care of it.”

Mark only shrugs his shoulders as he lays himself on the couch and puts his arm over his head. “Fine. Let me sleep here then. I’m so.. fucking tired.”

“You should go back and sleep at home.”

“I don’t think I can drive back right now, man. I’m so.. my head is buzzing.”

Yukhei suddenly feels guilty for causing a nuisance in the morning. He has been quite grumpy since morning to Mark when he knows better how the smaller is still feeling.. unwell. He just held a funeral for his family, took care of his family business, was confused of the sudden kiss by his first love ever, beaten by his husband’s cousin, and now went back to Korea, fought with jetlag and had to drive some miles only to make sure his husband - or his best friend - is fine.

His heart suddenly feels tousled thinking of how much things have been for Mark Lee.

He is currently in the worst situation ever of his life. Surely normal to think in a messy order and Yukhei, being in the worse side on this stance, cannot even tolerate to cut him some slack just because he is—probably, _most probably_ —jealous.

Yukhei heaved a deep breathe.

If anything, he should be able to lighten Mark’s burdens instead of being one.

He is usually a tolerating, patient, and the ‘more’ mature in between him and Mark. However this time, this morning, he really cannot help but to burst things out because he is thinking of many _many_ possibilities. Probabilities. That Donghyuck is possibly having feeling for Mark. Then Mark, he knows Mark Lee has _always_ been in love with Donghyuck and has been very vocal about it. He is scared somehow. He is scared if Mark will leave him, file a divorce, and start a new life with Donghyuck.

Meanwhile Yukhei only gets to see the back of what could be his walking away from his life once again.

Just like what Jungwoo did with Taeil.

“ _Fuck_.” he whispered to himself when he feels like tearing up.

Yukhei looks at Mark again—on the couch, laying down, his hands folded on his chest, being pressed to his body as if he is feeling cold. This mere sight breaks Yukhei to pieces, especially when he knows that he is the one who makes Mark suffers this way when Mark should have had peaceful sleep in his bedroom to stir his jetlag, drowsiness, and endless exhaustion away instead.

Yukhei approaches Mark and sits on the edge of the couch as he takes his coat off – covering Mark’s top body with his coat. He spreads the length of his coat to Mark’s shoulder and finally gets a better look on Mark’s bruises. The black and blue he got for the sake of Donghyuck’s kiss. Yukhei sighs at the sight, feeling down again as he thinks of the sacrifice Mark is willing to take when it comes to Donghyuck.

Is it wrong that he envy Donghyuck now?

Yukhei’s index finger slowly traces the bruises along Mark’s cheekbones when suddenly Mark’s hand grabs his. Yukhei was startled at first, but then looks at Mark who slightly opens his eyes.

“It hurts.”

“Sorry..”

Yukhei is about to let go of Mark’s hand and stands up, but Mark holds him tighter.

“Do you want me to sing a lullaby now?” the light insult earns small laugh from Mark Lee.

“You are so _fucking_ weird today.” Mark said it again, for probably the fourth or fifth time this morning. “What’s wrong, dude?”

 _I have told you what’s wrong_.

“Whatever it is, it has nothing to do with you and Taeil fighting.”

“For real?”

“For real.”

Yukhei is about to leave again, but Mark manages to pull Yukhei that he somehow sits _again_ on the edge of the couch. Hand is still hold by Mark. Yukhei is waiting as he watches Mark trying to sit again from his position.

“I’m gonna do something out of a scientific reason.”

“Like, testing a nuclear bomb?”

Mark slightly chuckles. “Even better.”

Yukhei is about to reply with another jab when suddenly Mark pulls him by his neck and crashes his lips with his. He is startled, confused, and takes some minutes to register what happens before happily reciprocates when Mark slightly nibbles his upper lip. Yukhei runs his hand to rake Mark’s locks, with the other hand cupping his cheek and gently tilt his head up to get a better angle.

It is good. _Too good_.

Mark’s lips are plump, soft, the taste of chamomile tea he sips this morning. The kiss is so tender that it breaks Yukhei’s heart into a million pieces.

Even though Yukhei feels something holds Mark back at this moment, that he doesn’t kiss him as passionate as their previous kisses - and this messes with Yukhei’s head. A thousand thoughts about Donghyuck might have kissed better than he did, or Mark has changed his mind, or—

“ _Uh._.”

Mark winces in pain, automatically parting them. Yukhei pulls himself carefully, eyes fluttering open. Before him, Mark frowns, eyes still shut, his finger traces his own lips.

“ _Fucking_ Taeil.” Mark cursed under his breath, his forehead is still pressed with Yukhei’s. 

Yukhei presses his lips again to Mark’s softly, slightly panting. “Does it hurt?”

Mark only nods. “Sorry, I’m usually a better kisser.”

“Oh, trust me - I know more than I wanted to.”

Yukhei pulls his head a little bit farther from Mark’s face to get a better view of Mark’s bruises. He kisses the end of Mark’s lips, the spot where one of the bruises lies, to which Mark winces again. Gritting his teeth.

“Let me get an ice pack to compress—“

“No.” Mark pulls Yukhei when he is about to lift his body and make a quick walk to the refrigerator. Mark holds him back, hands are holding tight to Yukhei’s. “Stay.”

This earns laugh from Yukhei. “What’s wrong with you, Mark Lee?”

“You’re just a lot yourself like this.” Mark runs his hand to rake his own hair, trying to knot words by words into a perfect sense. “You’re relaxed, and you’re Yukhei. Earlier I just.. don’t fucking know what’s wrong with you, dude, and you’re acting so fucking weird and sad. So, yeah..”

“So?”

“Shit, this is embarrassing but gotta admit that I felt better when you kissed me during the hard times. Never knew I needed that.”

A part of Yukhei brightens as the new information comes up. _I felt better_. _Better_. The way his kisses healed Mark, it somehow strokes his ego. However there is another part of him, the ugly one, wondering and being curious if Donghyuck’s kiss did the same magic. The thought sends a tingle down his chest and it makes him uncomfortable.

“I just want to.. just want to do anything to fucking help you the way you helped me dude. Remember that _long-ass_ science reason you said? Uh.. maybe that’s why kiss really works.”

“Yeah, maybe it’s the science.”

 _Or maybe not._ Because for Yukhei, it _definitely_ is not the science. It has been crystal clear, no matter how much he wants to escape and deny the truth.

“Hey.” Mark’s hand now runs through Yukhei’s right thigh, stroking it gently. “Do you know Jaehyun?”

Yukhei blinks his eyes quite fast, trying to concentrate to the question with Mark’s hand on his thigh. “That’s random. Which Jaehyun?” is the only answer. Because there’s a dozen Jaehyuns in South Korea that he has acquainted with at this moment.

“Jung Jaehyun, our senior in BA, the guy who sings.”

Yukhei forms a small gap with his lips as he thinks, and only finds _Jaehyun_ in the memory of him singing for Taeil and Jungwoo’s wedding. “Ah, he is like.. your friend, though. What about him?”

“He’s back from the States and throwing a party at our favorite bar tonight. Will you come with me?”

Yukhei is delighted at the idea. The chance to finally drink, mingle, and be stupid with Mark is finally open after almost three months of the mourning Mark mode never turned off. His head is quick to agree before his mouth realizes something first. “I have a meeting this evening. I’ll let you know later.”

“Okay.”

“..but..” something hits his awareness as a curiousity kicks in. Mark anticipates his impending buts with an adoring gaze, and Yukhei swears he doesn’t imagine things right now.

“..will Donghyuck be there?”

“ _Uh_.. I guess so? They were roommate for a year though.”

 _Fuck_. There will be a situation of ‘Mark and Donghyuck being in the same room without Yukhei presenting’ again. As he has been well informed about what they were able to do when they were alone, Yukhei suddenly comes up with a stupid precaution.

“Then I have to do this.” Yukhei suddenly ducked his head to the crook of Mark’s neck and starts sucking him gently there, nibbling it softly with his teeth until he feels drips of blood came out. “F- _fuck,_ Yukhei, what the- _ugh_.” Mark moans as he feels hot all over the body upon Yukhei’s sudden attack. The sucking slowly envelopes into something more as Yukhei moves and nibbles other area of his neck and gives a little pressure with tongue involves in the process. Mark only squirms under Yukhei and hugs Yukhei’s back tightly, hands run in a messy circle, not protesting, even when Yukhei’s hand starts roaming under his shirt and—

“Yukhei, here is your phone—oh shit, _sorry!_ ”

Kunhang. Hands are quick to close his eyes. Behind him are one gentlemen and two women at his age, trying to muffle their laughs.

Yukhei and Mark quickly separate themselves from one another like a high schooler getting caught watching porn by their parents. Yukhei rubs his forehead, feeling hot and embarrassed at the same time knowing this will spread to the entire building in a single snap of Kunhang, the descendant of Thanos.

‘Yukhei and his husband are trying to have quickie at the office’.

At the office.

The most inappropriate place to have a _quickie_ ever.

He’s so done.

“Kunhang.. what did I say about knocking?”

Kunhang hasn’t returned from the shock he encounters. “S-sorry, man. What about locking—“

Yukhei glares at him.

“—okay! The clients are here.” Kunhang gives him a sign through his eyes as he cocks his brows over the people behind him. “I want to give you more time but, you, you know, we have this appointment, we—“

“I know.” Yukhei has the urge to quickly shut Kunhang because the stutters only doubled the awkwardness. “Let’s have the meeting in.. ugh, 15th floor. They have vacant meeting room there. My husband here, he..” Yukhei peeks over Mark who lays on the couch peacefully and pretends to be dead since awhile ago. That _stupid_ thing. “..he needs to rest. He just landed from Canada.”

“O…kay.” Kunhang gives him a thumb up before making a quick wit comment with Cantonese. “Don’t make us waiting, okay?”

Yukhei has been ready to fire Kunhang already.

As soon as Kunhang leaves and the door shuts closed, Mark is resurrected from death and confronts Yukhei. “What the _fuck,_ man?”

“Shit, Mark.” Yukhei picks up his tablet and some documents on his table, head buzzes with embarrassment and arguments to dodge some stupid questions from his clients regarding _that_.

‘Yeah, me and my husband have not met for a week.’

‘You know, we are just… very passionate.’

‘He is quite.. excited.’

 _Fuck_.

“Man, what was that for? Even scientific reason won’t support cutting people’s neck—“

“—no. There is no science, Mark.” Yukhei says as he scrolls through his computer, searching for some documents to be transferred into his flash drive. “It was me marking you so Donghyuck won’t come anywhere closer to you tonight when I am not around.”

“Are you giving me a _fucking_ hickey?” Mark stands up and quickly check himself on the mirror near the end of couch. “Hooooly fuck.”

Now that Mark mentions about it, Yukhei cannot help but to look at Mark. With _hickey_. He is caught in the view for a moment, feeling dumbfounded to see a whole Mark with the bruise made by Yukhei. There’s a sense of pride lingers in Yukhei’s mind, and there’s other feeling of admiration to witness how beautiful Mark looks… with hickey.

 _Sweet Jesus_.

“I-I’m sure you’re old enough to know that’s hickey.” Yukhei and his effort to muffle the stutters. In the end, he is just being diplomatic.

“These bruises and these hickeys… I fucking look like a rape victim.”

Yukhei rolls his eyes. He wants to laugh at Mark’s remark but he is too focused on his files right now. Once he is done, he pockets his flash drive and walks behind Mark to check himself on the mirror too. He spruces the creases on his shirt and tidies up his buttons, even though there is nothing wrong there. He just wants to make sure he looks presentable. He is that perfectionist, though.

“Suit yourself, Mark. I don’t want Donghyuck to kiss you again so at least when he has a hunch to do so, he will see the hickey and hopefully..” the utmost of Yukhei’s hope. “..he is turned off.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I told you I don’t like you kissing Donghyuck— _oranyotherpersons_.” he said the end of the sentence rather quick and unclear, but he knows Mark can hear it anyway.

“Look at you being possessive.” Mark sneers, complete with a smug on his face. Yukhei canot respond anything to that because he is not a person who rebuttals the truth.

 _Mayhaps_ , he is being possessive.

Mark slowly leans his back to Yukhei’s chest behind him and presses a kiss on Yukhei’s cheek before moving his lips to Yukhei’s ear, ghosting over the thin skin of Yukhei’s ear for a moment. Yukhei finds himself freezing on the spot and his heart does a sort of backflip at the sudden contact.

“Just now, that hot guy of yours is peeking us through the door gap though.” Mark whispers as he cocks his brow to the mirror, where he leads Yukhei to see Kunhang being curious at the back of the door.

Yukhei rolls his eyes and turns his back in complete annoyance. “Alright Kunhang, okay! I’m going now!”

 

* * *

 

 

18:30 Mark Lee: Dude, should I get you now?

18:31 Wong Yukhei: Still in a meeting, man. I’ll join you later.

18:31 Mark Lee: K.

 

* * *

 

 

21:30 Mark Lee: Man, I’mon myseventj glass now I tgink Ill passdout later,pick me up pls

21:30 Wong Yukhei: Yeah, I can hear you drunk already. Just wait for me, don’t go anywhere.

21:31 Mark Lee: yea

 

* * *

 

 

23:00 Wong Yukhei: Dude, where are you?

23:01 Wong Yukhei: I’ve scourred the place and you’re nowhere

23:01 Wong Yukhei: Pick up the phone, dumbass!

23:01 Wong Yukhei: Mark fucking Lee

23:02 Wong Yukhei: Idiot

 

* * *

 

 

23:15 Lee Donghyuck: Yukhei, I’m taking Markie home. He’s dead drunk and I couldn’t go home just leaving him being stupid like that.

23:16 Lee Donghyuck: His car key is in Jeno. He’ll take the car to your apartment later.

 

* * *

 

 

 _Fuck_. Fuck. Fuck.

Yukhei could only curse as he runs from the parking lot of his apartment to the elevator. He’s pacing back and forth in the elevator, starting to regret why the heck they live in penthouse because he has to pause so many floors in between. He is thinking out loud, even people in the elevator can tell about it.

What if Donghyuck and Mark have gone far beyond kissing.

What if Donghyuck has taken advantage over Mark to solidify his divorce plan with Renjun.

What if. What if. _What if_.

 _Ding_.

Yukhei quickly runs and slides the passcode as he barges into the apartment, finding Donghyuck to be sitting in the living room with the TV on playing the newest episode of _Black Mirror_ —Mark’s least favorite show.

“You’re finally here.” Donghyuck gets up from his position as he finds Yukhei staring at him blankly. “I’ve put Mark on bed. Jesus, he’s so crazy when he’s drunk, I really salute you, Yukhei.”

Yukhei still cannot find his words to be spelled out. He clenches his fist, too angry to say thanks, too ashamed to ask the truth. So he only stays shut. Donghyuck pats the couch next to him and it irks Yukhei so much on how he _thinks_ that this is _his_ house.

This is.. yeah, Donhyuck is a friend and it is what Yukhei does when he is in their houses too, but this time. This time, he doesn’t know why he hates Donghyuck so much.

“Donghyuck..” he finally finds his voice. There are a million reasons why he should have stopped right now, and there are other a million reasons battling in his mind on why he should continue and ask him what the _heck_ he wants from Mark. He is standing between these two great reasons, and in final, he failed to make a comparison.

“Yeah?” Donghyuck answers with relaxed gesture, seems to not comprehend the whole situation with Yukhei right now.

Yukhei is still contemplating whether to ask or just to let it go. To live with it. To get over it, without making anything worse. Because.. what if this ends with Donghyuck spilling more stories about their unnecessary romance in Vancouver that Yukhei doesn’t need to damn know?

The thing is.. he realizes that no matter what it is, he can never change a thing in Mark or Donghyuck’s minds. If that was what happened, then it happened. There is always a good thing behind everything, even if this will turn out to disappoint him. Yukhei, at the very least, can learn to let go as soon as possible before he gets deeper in … _love?_ Or whatever the name of the feeling he has for Mark. He hauled a long breathe with a mindset of all or nothing this time. He will equip himself with an acceptance, he promises to be good at him this time.

“Why did you kiss him?”

 _Finally_.

Donghyuck looks startled, his smile disappears. “I’m sorry, _what?_ Kiss.. _who?_ ”

“Why did you kiss Mark?”

“W- _what?_ I did… _what_?” Donghyuck now completely turns to face Yukhei, asking for more explanation.

“You. Kissed. Mark Lee.” there’s a short pause before Yukhei continues with an unnecessary affirmation. “My Mark Lee.”

Donghyuck wished he misheard stuff, but then decides to laugh it off anyway, very awkwardly. “I am sorry, _when_?”

Yukhei starts to feel all his pent-up frustration to be spilled out. However, he chose to stay sane and reminds himself that this _is_ Donghyuck. His best friend for almost 10 years now. The person who always got his back whenever he was caught doing mischiefs in college. Donghyuck was, is, his best partner in crime, the friend who never thinks twice whenever he asked, asks for help.

So he decides to buy more patience for Donghyuck. There is nothing easy with admitting bad, scandalous deeds, Yukhei thought. He is trying to walk on Donghyuck’s shoes right now, and _fuck -_ how good it must have been to have a husband loving him and a whole Mark Lee adoring him, willing to do anything fo him.

Wong Yukhei can never be able to walk in Donghyuck’s shoes.

“C’mon Donghyuck. You’re a good friend of mine, I’m not gonna upset if you’re just… just honest with me.”

“I am _fucking_ honest!” Donghyuck is not less frustrated than Yukhei. The mix of confusion and outrage written all over his facial expression right now. The calmness has long gone. “I don’t fucking understand what you were saying, man.”

At this point, Yukhei starts to feel confused instead of getting more frustrated. He is torn between believing that either Donghyuck is good at acting or he is just telling the truth and has no idea _at all_.

“That.. Mark’s bruises, he told me he got those from Taeil. Taeil beat the shits out of him because… he caught you both kissed back in Canada.”

Donghyuck gapes. His eyes don’t blink. Some seconds later, he brings his hand to cover his mouth and shakes his head in disbelief. He looks like he finds it hard to spell a word right now.

“WHAT?” a scream, loud one, enough to bring the zombies back to life – if they are ever existed. “Is that what Mark told you?”

Yukhei nods, befuddled.

“Man.. holy shit. I mean..” Donghyuck massaged his temple and leans back to the couch. He suddenly looks like being in an extreme exhaustion. “So.. he made me a villain and Taeil a _fucking_ hero now? Fucking Mark Lee..”

“What do you mean?” Yukhei brings himself closer to Donghyuck as the latter repeats the gesture of patting the couch next to him. Once Yukhei finally obeys and sits, Donghyuck scoots closer to him.

“Look, man.” Donghyuck taps Yukhei’s shoulder softly. “This is my version of the story, which is _the truth_. You can check it with Taeil if you are still willing to check with him after this.”

Silence falls for a moment as Donghyuck gathers himself to tell what he said was _the truth_.

“Taeil… he.. I am very sorry for saying this, but please listen to me and probably you would want to listen to Taeil’s version too. Don’t hate him, okay?”

Yukhei hesitantly nods.

“He was drunk in our last night in Vancouver, and he brought a man home. They fucking… _fucked_ around. Mark and I just went home from taking care of the stuffs Mark had to Fedex when we heard the.. noises. Sex noises. Mark smashed the door and beat Taeil there at his place. Taeil’s partner was quick to defend him and threw more punches to Mark. Mark lost it, he is smaller than that guy though.”

“The thing is… I am more than willing to cover up Taeil’s secret for awhile as he sorts the way to tell Jungwoo how he fucked up, but if this has to put our friendship in jeopardy. Yukhei, man, I’d rather tell you the truth.”

“Mark was fucking upset at Taeil because of you. He said things like ‘Yukhei could treat Jungwoo better, he deserves Jungwoo more than you’ and some stuffs like that.”

Yukhei was about to respond to his defense – and Donghyuck knows he is about to resent Mark Lee for declaring the biggest secret of his life in front of Taeil, but Donghyuck quickly got him. He pats Yukhei’s shoulder softly, his other hand motioned Yukhei to stay shut. “Calm down, we all knew you had this long unrequited crush to Jungwoo. Taeil included. We have always known! I mean, man, that was way too obvious, okay? And I sort of agreed with Mark, though.”

Yukhei only pressed his eyes in tight shut.

“You know, Mark cried though. I.. rarely saw him cried, but he cried because he thought of you. He said that you were willing to give up anything only for a chance to be with Jungwoo, but Taeil just easily messed it up. I understand why he was lying though. He wanted to protect your relationship with Taeil, even though, he did it the wrong way, obviously.”

Yukhei feels dizzy. He rubs his forehead, hoping the ache goes away. This whole new information is just _a lot_ for him to process. From the incident as simple and as stupid as Donghyuck’s kiss to Mark, it escalates to a mega scale scandal done by his dearest cousin who cheated on his first love. All information collides in one day, when he doesn't have enough time to process and digest everything.

 _Dammit_.

“Donghyuck, man, I’m so… I have no idea how to word it but sorry, man.. I’m.. God, this messed me up so bad.”

“I know. I’ll be mad if I knew my husband kissed some random person too. I understand. But Yukhei, you knew better how much I love Renjun and it’s just impossible for me to ever do it. You’re smart enough to doubt Mark straight off the bat though.”

“I did! But he told me that you and Renjun are in somewhat marriage crisis and you both were on the verge of divorce.”

“That bastard! We’re super  _super_ happy! He’s an idiot.” Donghyuck laughs, this one is genuine. A happy, relieved laugh which brings smile to Yukhei's face.

“I know.”

“I reckon that’s why you’re punishing Mark?”

“Huh?”

Donghyuck pointing at his neck, and it got Yukhei thinks for awhile before the puzzle fits to solve what Donghyuck meant. _The hickey on Mark’s neck_. That must’ve still looked as clear and stupidly as fresh as a sunny day in the summer.

“That’s nasty. You like it rough to punish your man, yeah? Geez.”

Yukhei covers his face as his ears get hot and the red blooms on his cheeks.

“Oh, shut up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @jaeysaa


End file.
